摩登家庭英文台词-第一季-第一集--纯word-可编辑

1、Modern Family / Episode 1 Season 3Kids, breakfast! Kids? Phil, would you get themYeah, just a secThat is so - Kids, get down here! Why are you guys yelling at usWhen were way upstairs, just text meAll right, thats not gonna happen, and, wow, youre not wearing that outfitWhats wrong with it- Honey, d

2、o you have anything to say to your daughter about her skirtSorryOh yeah, that looks really cute, sweetheart! Thanks! - No, its way too short, people know youre a girl you dont need to prove it to themLuke got his head stuck in the banister againI got itWheres the babyoil- Its on our bedside tab I do

3、nt know, find itCome on! Iwas out of control growing upThere, you know, I said itI just dont want my kids to make the same bad mistakes I madeIf Hayley never wakes up on a beach in Florida, half-naked Ive done my jobOUR job- Right Ive done our jobThat was a penalty! Gloria, theyre 0 and 6, lets take

4、 it down a notchWere very differentHes from the cityHe has big businessI come from a small villageVery poor, but very, very beautifulIts the number one village in north Columbia for all the whats the word- MurdersYes, the murdersManny, stop him! Damn it, Manny! Come on, coach! Youve gotta take that

5、kid out! You wanna take him outHow about I take you out!Honey, honey Why dont you worry about your son! Hed spend the first half with his hands in his pants! I wanted to tell her that for the last six weeks Im Josh, Brians dad- Hi, Im Gloria Pritchett Mannys motherOh, this must be your dadHer dadUh,

6、 no, no, thats funnyActually, noIm her husbandDont be fooled by the uh Give me a second hereActually no, Im her husband! Dont be fooled by the Give me a second hereShes adorable! - Oh, thank you! Hi, Precious - HelloWeve just adopted her from Vietnam and were bringing her home for the first timeShes

7、 an angelYou and youre wife must be thrilled! Sorry, sorry, sorry, daddy needed snacksSo, what are we talking aboutWe have been together for five years nowAnd we decided we really wanted to have a baby so, we initially asked one of our lesbian friends to be a surrogate Then we figured, theyre alread

8、y mean enough, can you imagine one of them pregnantNo, thank youYou saw that rightEverybody fonding up to Lillian, then you walk on and suddenly its all Im gonna give a speech- You are not giving a speech you gonna stuck with this people for the next five hours! - Youre right, its okay, Im sorryHone

9、y, look at that baby with those creampuffsOkay, excuse meBut this baby would be growing up in a crowded orphanage if it wasnt for us creampuffs and you know what, to all of you who judge, hear this, love knows no race, creed or gender and shame on you! You small minded, ignorant fe- Mitchell- WhatSh

10、es got the creampuffsWe would like to pay for everyones headsetsMODERN FAMILY SEASON 1 EPISODE 1 Buddy, why do you keep getting stuk like thisI can get out this timeIm just gonna say it he needs to be checked by a specialistThere! Be free, Excalibur! Im having a friend over today- WhoYou dont know h

11、im- HimOoh, a boy! You gonna kiss him- Shut upLuke, Alex, why dont you take it outside, okay- And do whatFighting a son, it would be a nice changeIm kidding! Whos the boy- His name is Dylan I might as well just tell him not to come, because you guys are just going to embarrass me againHang on a seco

12、nd, youre fifteen, its the first time youve had a boy overIm bound to be a little suprised, but Were not gonna embarrass you! Id better go charge the camcorderIm kidding! Come on! Who are you talking toIm a cool dadThats my thangI surf the web, I textLOL, Laugh Out Loud, OMG, Oh My God WTF, Why The

13、Face You know, I know all the dances to High School Musical, soMOM! DAD! - What happendLuke just shot me! - I didnt mean to! Are you okay- No, the little bitch shot me! Language! Theyre only plastic bbs! It was an accident! What did I tell you what happened if you got him a gunDeal with this! Buddy

14、UncoolThats itNo, the agreement was that if he shoots someone you shoot himWe were serious about thatYes, we were and now you have to follow throughIm so sorry! - LiarGo! - Hes got a birthday partyWhats more importand here, dadYou can shoot him afterwards, hell be home at two- I cant shoot him at tw

15、o, showing our house at twoWhat about threeNo, hes at a soccergame at three, and then Oh, we gotta leave for that dinner thing in five- Yeah, I guess that works for meShoot Luke- Sorry dude, its on the calendarOh, come on! Im quitting soccer, it is a game for childrenNo, youre not quittingYou wouldv

16、e stopped that goal if you werent staring at that little girlShe is not a girl, she is a womanYou know Gloria, that blowup with that other mom, why do you have to do things like thatIf someone sais somthing about my family, Im going to - Im just saying you could take it down here a little bit- Well

17、yeah, but thats when you live down here but I live up here! You dont have to be so emotional all the time, thats all Im sayingManny, youre with me on this, right- I wanna tell Brenda Feldman I love herOh, for Gods sakeHoney, shes 16- Oh, its okay for you to take another loverWatch it! I want to go t

18、o the mall where she worksBut first we need to get my white shirt, the silk oneOkay, if thats what you really want to doSeriously, not to be the evil stepdad, but if you put on a puffy white shirt and declare your love for a 16-year-old youre gonna be swinging from the flagpole in your puffy white u

19、nderpants! Stop the car! Where you goingYou hurt his feelings- Well, if it toughens him up a little bit, then oh, jeez, hes picking flowers! Manny is verry passionate, just like his fatherMy first husband is very handsome, but too crazyIt seemed like all what we did was fight and make loveOne time,

20、Im not kidding you, we fell out of the window togetherWhich one were you doingIm hearing this for the first time! This doesnt worry youShe barely slept in the plane, and shes stil wide awake- Oh, stop worrying! That orphanage, it was all womanMaybe she cant fall asleep unless she feels a womans shap

21、eI guess thats possibleSo, here- What the hell is that suppose to meanYes, Ive gained a few extra pounds while we expecting the babyWhich has been very difficultBut, apparently your body does a nesting, very maternal primal thing, were it retains nutrientsSome sort of molecular physiology thingBut t

22、hats science, you cant fight itIm not saying anythingYoure saying everythingCount to three, one, t - Three- OkayOh my God, do you love it-Yes, I What the hell is thatI had Andre do it when we we were goneIs that usWith wingsWere floating above her, always there to protect herWell, thats reassuring,

23、right LillyYeah, we tore you away from everyting you know, but dont worry, things are normal hereYour fathers are floating fairies! Can you call AndreHave him paint someting a little less gayWe need to stop having friends with names like AndreRedheaded dad is angry daddy- No Im not- Yes, you areEven

24、 Pepper pointed it out on the way home from the airport- Okay, thats another one, Pepper! Okay, whats upI I never told my family we were adopting a babyI know- You doAnd I dont blame you, I know your familyYou tell them, they say something judgementalExactly! - You get madI know, and its supposed to

25、 be nothing, but joyful suddenly turns into this huge fightWho wants a big emotional scene like thatThank you, Im so relieved you understandI invited them over for dinner tonightWhat- I had to! This would have gone on foreverYoure an avoiderNo, Im calling them now, Im cancelling- No, youre not! Your

26、e telling your family youve adopted a baby, tonightAnd you do have avoidance issues; even Langina said so! Are you really not hearing these namesDont answer it, ill get it! Hey, you must be Dylan- Hey, Dylan, yeahIm Haleys motherHey, now, lets goHang on one secondDylan Youre still in High School- Ye

27、ah, Im a SeniorPhil, sweetie, honeyHe is Dylan and he is a seniorand you need to scare himLet me meet this playaPhil Dunphy, yo! Its like that, you just start down on him and let the eyes do the workYour mouth might be saying: Hey, we cool! But your eyes are like: No, we not! Nice to meet you! No, i

28、ts not! S all goodNo, s it isn Yo- YoOkay, Ive seen you guys- - Wait You two two keep it realYou know what it mean, sonNot reallyPlease stop- Thats cool! Oh, God, thats my back! Ow, oh, I slipped in the baby oilOoh, where you from originallyI could defeat you if it came to a physical confrontation!

29、I dont know about this, shall I call a doctor- No, no, no, noYoure verry strong, homes- ThanksOkay, nice, nice soft landing Okay, I am on my side, so flip me right back and were goodWell be goodI just need to get flipped right on my back, we should be fine, soBrenda FeldmanWhat is that- A poem ive w

30、ritten for Brenda FeldmanOf course that is- I put my thoughts into words, and now my words into action! Ey, I give you 50 bucks not to do thisIm eleven years old, what am I gonna do with moneyWhat are you gonna do with a sixteen year oldIts like a bullfight! Ever see a bullfightI cant watch thisYour

31、e in such a bad moodAnd I know whyIts because that man thought you were my father- No- Yes- NOWhen you say no like that, its always yesCome on, were in the mall, lets get you, like, some younger clothes theres a store there that I know - I dont need any younger clothes! And I dont care what some jac

32、kass in a pair of ripped jeans thinks about meGood, you shouldntYou should only care what I thinkI love you, and I dont care how old you areSo stop being a gloomy goose, and stop being so hard on Manny- The only reason Im hard on Manny is just because I dont wanna see him make a fool of himselfAnd I

33、 can smell that hairgoo of his from here! Look, I dont know whats gonna happen to him over there but youre his family nowAnd that means only one thingYou be there wind in his back, not the spit in his face! WhatSomething my mom always says, its gorgeous in SpanishLook, hes thereShe has a boyfriendI

34、gave her my heartShe gave me a picture of me as an old-time sheriffThat was pretty stupid of me, wasnt itNo, mi amore, it was brave, right, JayBraveI b youll know better next timeCome on! Lets get a pretzelOh, excuse me, sirWe ask that all mall-walkers stay to the rightAlex, get out! MOM! Alex, leav

35、e your sister alone! I was just getting my book, gosh! - I know sweetie, but you need to respect their privacy- What are they doing up there- Nothing, lying in her bed, watching a movieOkay Okay Im making a cake for tonight, you wanna help me with the frostingSureSo, you know if Haley got pregnant,

36、would you ever pretend she got mono for a few months and then tell everyone the babys yoursWhatA senior at school was out sick for four months, but she was out breastfeeding in an cleanup carwashBuddy, what are you wearing- NothingNo jacket, no hatHow many pairs of underwear do you have on- One SixF

37、irst of all, it would be really cool to see Haley that fat, and how awesome would it be to have a fake little brother whos really my nephewHaley is not getting pregnant! Im just saying ifI know, and I know you like to make trouble for your sister, but its not gonna work this timeYou know whyCause yo

38、ur sister is a good girlI know, I was just like her when I was I want you to know, Im not enjoying thisThis is an important lesson that youre leaning, soS all good, keep it Youre too close, its gonna hurt- Its supposed to hurt! And why are you smilingIm WhatOh, forget itI cant do thisThe point is, y

39、oure scaredI think youve learned your lessonMom?! What are you doing- Hey, I was just dropping off some laundry, this is a bad timeYeah Oh, okayCan you shut the door, pleaseActually, were just go ahead and leave that openWhyBecause I have, uh, seen this little show before: Lying on the bed with a ta

40、ll seniorone minute youre just friends, watching Falcon Crest, and the next youre lying underneath the air-hockey table with your bra un-pocket! Mom! You hit my bone! - It was an accident! I thought we were friends! - I am your friend! Dad?! Dad, you have got to talk to mom, she is like completely f

41、reaking out and emberassing meWell, honey, youre mom isnt always as cool about things as I What is with this thing! My dad, isnt completely comfortable with This, ehum, he still does this thingIts been five years nowAnd he still does this thing were he announces himself before walking into any room

42、were inJust to make sure he doesnt ever see us kissWish my mother had that systemRemember- Not nowI still cant beleve you did this to me! - Would you get in the spirit of things! Its a celebration! Oh GodIm gonna go get Lily ready, and I want you to just come straight out with it, you can do this! S

43、portsguy-chest-bump, sportsguy-chest-bump! Do it, GO! Hey, how are youHi, guys! Well thank you, thanks- Dont thank us open it, dad is right behind Knock, knock, were here! Coming in! - Dont worry, dad, nothing gay going on hereMay I take your multicoloured coat and your bejeweled capYeahHey, Jay- Gl

44、oria, hi! How are youHi Gloria, how are youWhat a beautiful dress! Thank you, Phil! - Oh, okayPhil! She said Phil, not feel! So how was your trip- It was good, it was good, actually, but about that, I have something that I need to tell you guysWe didnt just go to Vietnam for pleasureWe kinda have so

45、me big newsOh, God, if Cam comes out there with boobs, Im leaving! Dad! - I hope he didnt embarrass you, momDont mind her, Haley had her first boy over today, and Phil shot himAnyway, so about a year ago, Cam and I sort have feeling this longing for something more like, maybe a babyWhoa, thats a bad

46、 ideaWhat do you mean, bad idea- Well, kids need a mother! I mean, if you two guys are bored, get a dog! Were not bored, dad! I support you, Mitchell, even though youre not my sonI think what dad is trying to say is that, Mitchell, youre a little uptight, kids bring chaos and you dont handle wellTha

47、ts not whats its saying what you sayingAnd its insulting in an whole different wayOkay, people, lets all chillax! Wheres uncle Cameron- Finally, thank you, someone whos not insulting me noticed hes not hereSo, thats the big announcementYou two broke upWell a baby wasnt gonna help that, anyway! Let me tell you, youll be better off, becaus