2024高考英语新创新一轮复习写作第二编扩充句-告别瘦削骨感美在意韵丰满学案含解析北师大版

PAGEPAGE1扩充句—告辞瘦削骨感美在意韵丰满不是不会写，而是不知写什么，尤其是面对越来越开放化的写作要点时，考生不善想象，不会发散，导致语句表达干瘪无物，直译要点，搜肠刮肚也凑不够词数，一脸窘态。如何合志向象、扩充句式，让写作有血有肉，本部分从4个方面赐予指导。扩充策略(一)不走寻常路，靓句带你飞——追加成分高考英语书面表达不仅规定了写作内容，还明确规定了词数，并在评分标准中指出，假如“词数少于80和多于120的，从总分中减去2分”。但在实际阅卷过程中，假如词数过少，扣掉的不止是2分。因为篇幅过短，不能吸引阅卷老师细看以便查找诸如“高级词汇”“较高级结构”等“加分点”，自然影响得分档次。在试题“留意”中有明确规定：“1.词数100左右；2.可以适当增加细微环节，以使行文连贯”。这里既规定了词数，又指定了充溢文章的方法，即“适当增加细微环节”。“适当增加细微环节”其中很重要的一个方法就是——追加成分。目的扩展句子，充溢文章方法在要点句基础上适当增加合乎逻辑的附加成分，如定语(从句)、状语(从句)(如目的、条件、缘由、结果、方式等)、非谓语结构、独立主格结构、举例等，使表达更丰满，内容更充溢，主题更突出特色结构多变，句式多样[典例观摩悟法]1．(提示演讲参赛选手)要守时、讲卫生、守纪律。Pleasearriveontime,keepquietanddon'tlitteraround.→Pleasearrivethereontime,forwhoeverislatewon'tbeallowedtoenter.It'sbadmannerstolitteraround.Andalwayskeepquietwhilewaitingforyourturn.[分析]原句虽然没有直译所给要点，且敏捷化解了难点，但过于直白、语气较为生硬；而改写后的句子则进行了拓展，详细明确。如“forwhoeverislate...”提示参赛选手迟到后果的严峻性；“It'sbadmanners...”运用it作形式主语的句型，指出乱扔东西属于不礼貌行为；“whilewaitingforyourturn”运用状语从句的省略形式，进行补充说明。因此，改写后的句子更充溢，更相宜对参赛选手提建议的语境。2．(演讲留意事项)要面带微笑；要讲慢些，讲清晰。Besuretowearasmileonyourface.Besides,remembertospeakslowlyandclearly.→Besuretowearasmileonyourfacewhenyouspeak,whichwillmakeyourelaxed.Besides,remembertospeakslowlyandclearlysothatyoucanleaveagoodimpressionontheaudienceandjudges.[分析]加蓝部分是依据语境所追加的成分，如“whichwillmakeyourelaxed”指出“演讲时微笑”的好处；“sothatyoucan...”为“讲慢些，讲清晰”的目的，留下好印象是“演讲”效果之一，也是能否获得评委青睐的因素之一。适当增加与所给信息相关的时间、缘由、结果、条件、目的等成分来表达细微环节内容，能够使习作流畅、丰满，达到应有的表达效果。[专题过关训练]请发挥合志向象，扩展句子(请留意括号内供应的语境)1．(开设英语电影观赏课)建议多选择英语电影。As_a_young_student,_IsuggesttheteacherchoosemoreEnglishfilmsthatappeal_to_us_teenagers,_thusmaking_English_learning_more_interesting.2．(探讨学生带手机问题)不允许学生带手机。Studentsareforbiddentotakeacellphonein_order_not_to_affect_our_studies/so_as_not_to_disturb_others_in_class.3．(去看电影)你最好早点到。In_order_to_get_a_good_seat_for_seeing,_you'dbetterarriveabitearlier.4．(2024·全国卷Ⅱ书面表达)(通知学校放映电影)这部英文短片主要与我们学校的发展有关。TheEnglishshortfilmismainlyrelatedtothedevelopmentofourschool,which_will_greatly_help_us_students_know_the_school's_history_better_and_appeal_to_us_to_make_contributions_to_our_school's_development.5．(2024·全国卷Ⅲ书面表达)(介绍学校体育馆)体育场馆已经建立起来，很多运动项目可在里面实行。Tobeginwith,anewstadiumhasbeenbuiltup，which_has_become_the_new_landmark_in_our_school.Moreover,withthestadiumsetup,awiderangeofsportseventsareabletobeheld,of_which_table_tennis,_football_as_well_as_running_competitions_enjoy_great_popularity.6．(2024·北京高考书面表达)(询问来北京上高校)建议你上北京高校，中国文学专业适合你。Learning_your_keen_interest_in_Chinese_culture,_IsuggestyouapplyforPekingUniversity,one_of_the_best_universities_in_China.ItsChineseLiteraturemajorisperfectforyouwhere_you_can_be_completely_soaked_in_Chinese_profound_history_and_rich_culture.扩充策略(二)铺上红地毯再出场——补加语句补加语句是常见的“增加细微环节”的方法，这可以使文章显得错落有致，这样不仅使文章在形式上增加美感，而且使文章读起来铿锵有力，从而使作文在内容上更加连贯、丰满。下面介绍补加语句的几种技法：目的充溢文章，增加连贯性方法依据行文走向，适当增加一些与主题相关的语句，或由要点衍生的句子，既起到前引后联的作用，又能补充一些相关信息，帮助阅卷者理解所写内容。同时，还能协调句式，避开句式单调的问题特色协调句式，结构多样技法1列举详细的实例进行补充说明①我喜爱读书。Ilikereadingbooks.→Ilikereadingbooks,suchasnovels,shortstories,magazinesandnewspapers.②我要花一些时间和父母在一起。I'llspendsometimestayingwithmyparents.→I'llspendsometimestayingwithmyparents,chattingwiththemanddoingsomehousework.③我想找一个像我一样喜爱旅行的笔友。I'dliketoseekapenpalwhoisinterestedintravelingjustlikeme.→I'dliketoseekapenpalwhoisinterestedintravelingjustlikeme.Ifpossible,wecantraveltogetherorsharetravelingexperiences.技法2增加与所写信息相关的神态、动作、心理描写以及背景渲染等内容①我有时去村西的小河游泳。Igoswimmingintheriverofthewestofthevillagenowandthen.→Igoswimmingintheriverofthewestofthevillagenowandthen.Thewaterintheriverisveryclear.(背景渲染)→Weatherpermitting,Igoswimmingintheriverofthewestofthevillagenowandthen.(相关背景)②旅行了一周后，他回到了家。Afteraweek'strip,hereturnedhome.→Afteraweek'strip,hereturnedhome,tiredbutveryhappy.(心理描写)技法3增加相关信息的时间、地点等内容①我要和父母一起去超市购物。I'mgoingtodosomeshoppingwithmyparentsinthesupermarket.→I'mgoingtodosomeshoppingwithmyparentsinthesupermarketandwon'tbebackuntilabout5：00intheafternoon.(增加时间)②我已经带来了你让我归还的这两本书。Ihavetakenwithmethetwobooksyouaskedmetoreturn.→IhavetakenwithmethetwobooksyouaskedmetoreturntotheCityLibrary.(增加地点)[典例观摩悟法]1．(提示观众留意)要按时进入电影院。Besuretoenterthetheaterontime.→Besuretoenterthetheaterontime.Whoeverislatewillmissthesplendidopening.[分析]要点句为简洁句，补加复合句“Whoeverislate...”，通过指出迟到后果的方式引起观众的留意，同时，也使得句式多样，表达丰富多彩。2．(谈论善款用途)捐献得来的钱将送给最急需的人。Themoneycollectedinthecharitysalewillbesenttothoseingreatneed.→Themoneycollectedinthecharitysalewillbesenttothoseingreatneed.Thiswillnotonlyhelpthemgetthroughdifficulties,butalsogivethemwarmthandhappiness.[分析]通过复合句来增加“较困难结构”，同时也是上一句衍生的“效果”：帮助他们战胜困难，还赐予他们温温煦华蜜。[专题过关训练]请适当补加语句，充溢下面写作片段1．(描写英语老师)Hisclassleftusstudentsadeepimpression.(1)He_tries_his_best_to_make_us_understand_what_he_is_teaching/He_has_a_free_talk_with_us_in_simple_and_humorous_English/He_has_a_good_way_to_make_his_class_lively_and_interesting.Hespeaksslowlyandclearlysothatwecanfollowhimwell.Meanwhile,hewouldrepeatjustintimewhatthestudentsdidnotunderstand.(2)Greatly_inspired,_most_of_us_take_an_active_part_in_his_class/Our_English_has_greatly_improved_with_his_help_and_guidance.2．(说明自己所擅长的两项技艺)AsaChinese,I'mgoodatmanyskillsrelatedwithourtraditionalculture.Butamongthem,Taichiismyfavoritebecauseitdoesmuchgoodtomyhealth.(1)I'm_sure_American_friends_will_be_also_crazy_about_it_after_they_touch_it.Andasyouknow,Chinesecookingispopularallovertheworld.(2)It_happens_that_I'm_expert_at_it,_and_I'm_glad_to_present_some_traditional_Chinese_dishes_to_everybody.3．(2024·浙江高考写作)(应聘志愿者的相关阅历)Firstly,IcanspeakfluentEnglishand(1)I_have_little_difficulty_communicating_with_foreigners.Secondly,Ihelpedreceivesomevisitingforeignerstoourschoollastyear.(2)This_experience_is_sure_to_enable_me_to_do_better_this_year.4．(互联网的好处)TheInternetisplayingamoreandmoreimportantpartinourdailylife.We_can_not_only_read_news_from_home_and_abroad,_but_also_get_information,_send_emails_and_attend_online_schools.扩充策略(三)陡转之处拐个弯——增加过渡增加过渡是常见的“增加细微环节”的方法，过渡性词语和过渡性语句的运用是语言连贯性得以实现的最常用手段。在句与句之间，段与段之间恰当地运用一些承上启下的过渡(连接)性词语、句子可避开语句陡转直下，不联不搭，通过合理过渡，实现语句的连接顺畅。这就须要考生在日常学习中积累背诵常用的过渡词。例如：表示列举的firstly,secondly,thirdly,finally；表示自己看法的asfarasI'mconcerned,frommypointofview,inmyopinion；表示转折的onthecontrary,however,everycoinhastwosides等。目的增加凝合力，突出连贯性方法依据行文或段落须要，在句与句或段与段之间适当增加过渡性词语，或者过渡句，以使文章浑然一体，提高劝服力特色行文连贯，条理清晰[典例观摩悟法]1．(话题：家长用车接送学生引起校门口拥堵)Ourtrafficdepartmentshouldstrengthenmanagementtomaketheparentsobeytrafficrules.Ourschoolshouldappealtousstudentstowalkorrideabiketoandfromschool,whichisnotonlyfriendlytoourtrafficenvironmentbutalsoisgoodforstudents'health.→Inmyopinion,theproblemcanbesolvedfromtwoaspects.Ononehand,ourtrafficdepartmentshouldstrengthenmanagementtomaketheparentsobeytrafficrules.Ontheotherhand,ourschoolshouldappealtousstudentstowalkorrideabiketoandfromschool,whichisnotonlyfriendlytoourtrafficenvironmentbutalsoisgoodforstudents'health.[分析]本段作者运用Inmyopinion,theproblemcanbesolved...主题句，其中fromtwoaspects让读者明白作者供应了两个方面的建议，并以ononehand,ontheotherhand进行展示。这些过渡性词语和过渡句的恰当运用，使文章语言连贯、过渡自然、浑然一体。2．(去美国学习英语询问详细问题)I'mconcernedwithhowfaritisfromthehostfamilytomyschool.I'mwonderingwhetheraprivatebedroomwillbeofferedtome.ItendtoknowifthereareanyspecialcustomsthatIshouldpayattentionto.Wouldyoupleasegivemesomemoresuggestionsonhowtogetalongwellwiththehostfamily？I'msureyouradvicewillbenefitmealot.→Firstly，I'mconcernedwithhowfaritisfromthehostfamilytomyschool.Secondly,I'mwonderingwhetheraprivatebedroomwillbeofferedtome.Furthermore，ItendtoknowifthereareanyspecialcustomsthatIshouldpayattentionto.Lastbutnotleast,wouldyoupleasegivemesomemoresuggestionsonhowtogetalongwellwiththehostfamily？I'msureyouradvicewillbenefitmealot.[分析]本段作者运用firstly,secondly,furthermore,lastbutnotleast使层次清晰连贯，使文章提高一个档次，能彰显作者实力。[专题过关训练]Ⅰ.用过渡性词汇补全句子1．(2024·浙江高考写作)Welostourwayintheforestandto_make_matters_worse/worse_still(更糟的是),itgotdark.2．(2024·北京高考书面表达)In_my_opinion/view(依我看)studyingforadegreeinadifferentcultureisnevereasy.3．First_of_all/To_begin_with(首先),themostsignificantthingistosetagoal,workoutaplanandcarryouttheplanstepbystep.4．On_the_one_hand(一方面),theycansweepthetombsforthedead.On_the_other_hand(另一方面),theycangoforawalkinthecountryinspringwhenthegrasshasjustturnedgreen.5．In_a_word/In_conclusion/In_short/In_brief(总之),successisimportant,andsoisfailure,becauseit'sthemotherofsuccess.Ⅱ.阅读下面短文，从方框中选择适当的过渡性词语填空近来，中学生普遍缺乏自我爱护意识这一问题备受关注，请你用英语写一篇短文：1．概括中学生自我爱护的重要性；2．就如何爱护自己谈谈你的看法(至少两点)。aboveall，besides，meanwhile，foronething，foranotherthing，personally，inawordRecently,ithasbeenagreatpublicconcernthatthestudentslackself­protectionawareness.Thereisalackofsocialexperienceamongstudentsandthereforelearninghowtoprotectourselvesisofgreatsignificancetousall.1.For_one_thing,_securitycomesfirst.Withoutsecurity,wecanachievenothingandcannotliveuptoparents'expectations.2.For_anotherthing,_protectingourselvescontributestothehealthydevelopmentofusstudents,whichisassociatedwiththehappinessofeveryfamily.3.Meanwhile,_italsohelpstobuildamoreharmonioussociety.4．Personally,_inordertoprotectusstudents,5.above_all,_weshouldstrengthenoursecurityawareness.6.Besides,_whenaccidentsoccur,weshouldcalmdownandturntoteachersorparentsforhelp.Thegovernmentalsoplaysaleadingroleinprotectingstudents.7.In_a_word,_onlybythecombinedeffortsofeverysideinvolvedcanweliveandstudyinharmony.Ⅲ.请在下面的段落内加上适当的词语或句子，以充溢文章(话题：是否禁止广场舞)Idon'tthinksquaredancingshouldbeforbidden.1.Here_are_the_reasons/The_reasons_are_as_follows.2.First_of_all/To_begin_with,_dancingisagoodwaytotakeexercise,whichcanhelppeopletobuildthemselvesup.It3.alsoprovidesachanceforpeopletocommunicatewitheachother.4.Besides/What's_more,_thesquareisagoodplaceforpeopletoworkout.扩充策略(四)世界那么大，带你去看看——详加描述详加描述是常见的“增加细微环节”的方法，这可以使文章词数达标、内容充溢、结构连贯、语意顺畅。目的有详有略，主次分明方法依据提示要求，首先确定主要点和次要点，然后在主要点上着笔泼墨。除了前面提到的采纳“追加成分”以扩展句子的方式外，还可把一些主要点分开详述，从而提升这些要点的重量特色详略得当，重点突出[典例观摩悟法]下面是一位考生的习作，请进行修改，以充溢文章、突出主题。一家英语报社向中学生征文，主题是“我志向的高校生活”，请依据下列要求和你的畅想完成短文。1．专业与课程；2.老师与同学；3.学校活动。留意：1.词数100左右；2．可以适当增加细微环节，以使行文连贯；3．开头语已给出，不计入总词数。Ioftenimaginewhatmylifewillbelikeinmydreamuniversity.[学生习作](得分16分)Ioftenimaginewhatmylifewillbelikeinmydreamuniversity.I'llbeadmittedtoPekingUniversityandmajorinEnglish.Icanchooseavarietyofcourses,suchasEnglishliterature.Theprofessortherewillbefriendlyanddevotedtotheirteaching.Besides,I'llhavelovelyandcaringclassmates.Inoursparetime,variousactivitieswillbeheldtobuildupourcourageandexperience,suchaspartiesandcompetitions.[分析]该文虽然把题干中给出的三个要点一一列出，结构清晰，还运用了一些高级词汇如beadmittedto,avarietyof,bedevotedto,various等。然而由于简洁排列要点，全文只有约70词，且缺少连贯性，未能完全完成试题规定的任务。下面是修改完成后的作文，请留意加黑句子对充溢文章、突出主题的作用。Ioftenimaginewhatmylifewillbelikeinmydreamuniversity.AsfarasIcanimagine,I'llbeadmittedtoPekingUniversity,whereI'llmajorinEnglish.Icanchooseavarietyofcourses,whichwillhelpmeimprovemyspokenEnglishandhaveabetterunderstandingofforeigncultures.Theprofessorstherewillbefriendlyanddevotedtotheirteaching,withwhosehelpnotonlycanIenrichmyknowledgebutalsoIcanbroadenmyhorizons.Inaddition,I'llhavelovelyandcaringclassmates.We'llcompeteinourstudyandbeclosefriendsinourdailylife.Inourfreetime,variousactivitieswillbeheldtobuildupourcourageandexperience,suchaspartiesandcompetitions.I'msuremycollegelifewillberichandcolorful.[分析]修改后的文章篇幅适中(120words)，要点齐全、内容充溢、语言丰富、句式多样、行文连贯，而且详略得当，主题突出。文中“详加描述”合情合理(见加黑部分)，尤其是最终一句与文章首句照应，结构显得特别紧凑。总之，要想使文章充溢、连贯，就须要“适当增加细微环节”。但是，这些细微环节的增加须要结合体裁、主题以及行文走向，“画龙点睛”式地增加，绝不能毫无节制地乱加一气，以免冲淡主题，模糊文意，甚至“跑偏了”主题。[专题过关训练]1．下面是一位考生的习作，请进行修改，以充溢文章、突出主题。近来，中国游客在海外的不文明行为备受热议。假定你是李华，是一名国际旅行社的导游，就此写一篇短文在一份英文报纸上发表自己的观点。请依据下面的提示完成短文。1．列举不文明行为；2．指出其影响；3．提出建议。留意：1.词数100左右；2．可以适当增加细微环节，以使行文连贯；3．开头已给出，不计入总词数。Asatourguideofaninternationaltravelagency,IfinditsoembarrassingtoseemanyChinesetouristsbehavebadlyabroad.[考生习作]Asatourguideofaninternationaltravelagency,IfinditsoembarrassingtoseemanyChinesetouristsbehavebadlyabroad.Suchbadbehaviorsoverseashavecauseddamagetothecountry'sreputation.Measuresshouldbetakentostopthis.First,beforegoingabroad,touristsshouldbetrainedtoobeysocialandpublicorder,andrespectlocalreligionsandcustoms.Besides,kindergartensandprimaryschoolsshoulddomoretoteachthekidstoberesponsiblecitizens.[升格作文]Asatourguideofaninternationaltravelagency,IfinditsoembarrassingtoseemanyChinesetouristsbehavebadlyabroad.Theyspeakloudlyinpublicplaces,carvecharactersontouristattractions,throwrubbish,spiteverywhere,andevencrosstheroadwhenthetrafficlightsarestillred.Suchbadbehaviorsoverseashavecauseddamagetothecountry'sreputation.Measuresshouldbetakentostopthis.First,beforegoingabroad,touristsshouldbetrainedtoobeysocialandp