高中英语双语阅读Unit1Friendship为什么你的好朋友那么少素材新人教版必修1

为什么你的好挚友那么少？Makingfriendscanbehardbecauseofone'slackofsocialskills,becauseoursocietyisgenerallymakingusmoreisolated,becauseofourmodernbusylifestyles,orbecausewenolongerhaveacontextformeetingpeoplelikewedidincollegeorhighschool.交友瓶颈产生的缘由可以是我们缺乏社交阅历，可以是我们被社会侵染得与世隔绝，可以是现代生活变得繁忙，也可以是我们不再有高校或中学那样的环境。Thereisnosinglecausethatmakesthiscrucialskillhardforus—it’sactuallyagroupofcauses.Inthisarticle,we’regoingtotacklethemainreasonsyoumayfindithardtomakefriends,andhowtoovercomethemsoyoucangetthehappysociallifeyouwant.缺乏社交技能不是个别因素造成的----事实上有大大小小的缘由。编者将在这篇文章中与大家一起解决所谓的“交友难”问题，并且帮助大家在社会生活里混得如鱼得水。YouThinkthatEveryoneElseisAlreadyinaClosedGroupofFriends问题一：觉得别人的挚友圈早已“闲人勿进”了Didyouknowthatthelonelierthepersonis,themoretheytendtoonlynoticeextrovertedpeoplewhohaveagreattimewithfriends?Somehowthemindgetsblindtoallotherswhoaremaybeevenmorelonely;it’sjustamentalillusion.Atthesametime,mostfriendshipsaresuperficial.Peoplecanhangoutwithothersjusttoavoidbeingalone.Everyoneiscravingformorecloseandloyalfriends,sodon’tbefooledbyappearances.你知道性格越孤僻的人就越憧憬阳光平和的人吗？渐渐地，他们就会看不见那些比他们还要孤僻的人；这仅是精神错觉罢了。与此同时，多数人的友情都薄如蝉翼。挚友们相约出来可能仅仅是为了驱逐孤独。因此，不要傻傻地光看表象。不仅是你，其他人都在渴望更密切忠厚的挚友呢！YouLearnedThatFriendsCanbeDisappointing问题二：一朝被蛇咬，十年怕草绳Ifyougothurtbyfriendsinthepast,youmightthinkthatfriendshipisrisky.Whatyoumayhavemissedisthatthesescarsarelessons.Theyarenewtricksunderyourbelt.Badfriendshipexperiencesaresignalsandnewskillsthatallowyoutofilterpeoplebetter.Yougettobecomemoresafeasyougatherfriendshipexperience,andyou’lltoseethewarningsignsbeforeyougetdisappointed.It’sawealthofknowledgethatyoushouldn'tthrowaway—youcanlearnfromthem.假如你过去被挚友损害过，可能就会觉得友情很危急。那些你挥之不去的伤痕也会随时提示你。你认为新挚友会损害你，再加上过去糟糕的友情体验所发出的信号，你就会任凭受伤的信去筛选好人作挚友。一旦交友阅历日益丰富，你会越来越有平安感。并且在挚友让你悲观前就嗅出危急的信号。这可是一笔珍贵的阅历---能够让你获益良多的阅历。GreatResultsDon’tSeemtoAppearatFirstAttempt问题三：多重缘由导致被动交友Ifit'sbeenalongtimesinceyoumadeanewfriend,thenknowingwheretostartcanbedifficult.Abigcommonmistakeisforsomeonetopsychthemselvesintogoingouttosocialize,thenquicklygetdiscouragedwhentheyseethatotherpeoplearen'tveryresponsivetothem.Yoursocialskillsmaybedormantoryoumayneverdevelopedthemasyoucouldhave.Ifyouwantagreatsociallife,youcan’tcountononesingleactionstep.Youneednewhabitsthatareeasytoimplementgradually,andasetofgreatsocialskillsandtechniquestouse.长时间没有结交新挚友会让你难以迈出第一步。一些人有个共同的缺点：一起先他们会憋足劲去搞人际关系，一旦别人没有做出相应的回应，他们就泄气了。如此一来，本应得到发展的社交技巧也会停滞不前。若你希望有一个很棒的社交生活，就别希望一步到位了。得按部就班养成新的习惯，再协作着一系列的社交技巧来运用。The“WhatIfTheyDon’tLikeMe?”Factor问题四：畏首畏尾Fearofrejectionisalsoabigblock.Ifyoutrytomakefriendswithsomeoneanditdoesn'tworkout,youcanrarelyknowwhy.It'susuallyalotofspeculation.Whetheryoubelievethatthinkyou'renotgoodenough,ortheythinkthatyou'retoogoodforthem,it'susuallyjustguesswork.Youcanneverknowwhat'sgoingonwithsomeoneyoudon'tknowverywell.Youdon'thavetochooseathinkingprocessthatdiscouragesyou.Ifsomeoneisn'treadytomeetorhangoutwithyou,letitgo.Itcanbeanything:theymustbebusy,theymaynotbereadyfornewfriends,theymayhavebeenhurtlately,etc.Itcanbeanything,sonevertakeaguessthatmayonlydiscourageyou.怕被拒绝同样是一大障碍。假如你努力结交挚友，结果却碰了一鼻子灰。天知道这是怎么一回事。你可能认为自己不够好，他们却可能认为你好的过余。缘由太难猜了。终归对于那些你不了解的人你恒久也不会知道他们在想什么。你大可不必让志气在猜疑中退却。You’reAfraidtoRevealWhoYouAre问题五：胆怯 展露真实的自己Revealingwhoyouare(andyoursecrets)isakeypartofmakingfriends.Ifyou’renotreadytoopenup,thathesitancecanblockyoufrommakingnewconnections.Pleasenotethatyoudon’tneedtoopenupcompletelyatonce,andcandosoinstages.Peopleareusedtohavingotherstalkingaboutgeneralitiesatfirst.Ifyougetgoodatthat,youcanwaitandgettoknowpeoplebeforerevealingyourselfgradually.Atthesametime,neverthinkthatpeoplearethatwell-adjustedandperfect.Everyonehastheirownquirks;everyonehasasideofthemselvesthey'renottooproudof,ordon'thavethecouragetoreveal.You'renotalone.交友的关键部分就是展露真我（和隐私）。假如你尚未打算好敞快乐扉，这份迟疑就会成为阻碍。要知道你并不须要一次性就彻底曝光出来，得按部就班渐渐来。要是你在行人们习惯谈论的日常琐事，便可以先谈着，再伺机吐露心声。同时要留意人们没有你想象中那么有适应性，也并非那么完备。每个人都有怪癖，每个人都缺乏志气揭露自卑的一面。而你，只是众多人之一。YouCan'tAcknowledgeThatYouActuallyNeedPeople问题六：不承认自己须要挚友Thisisanothercommonreasonwhypeoplestayisolated.It'sokaytothinkofyourselfasanindependentpersonbut,whosaidthatindependentpeoplehavetobelonely?Ifyoufeelthatpowermeansthatyoudon’tneedotherpeople,it’smaybetimetorethinkthat.Theabilitytobringotherpeopleinyourlifeandhavethemonyoursideismorepowerful.Ifyoulearnhowtomakefriends,thenyou'llneverbeobligatedtobewithanybodythatdoesn'tdeserveyou.That’samoreevolvedwaytoseepower.Powermeansthatyouchoosewhoyouhangoutwith.这也是人们孤立的共同缘由。认为自己独立这点无可厚非，但是认为独立等同于孤独就过犹不及了。假如你认为有本领独立的人就会有本领孤独生活，那得好好反思一下。将别人引入你的生活，并让他们拥护你，这才是更大的本领。一旦驾驭了交友技巧，你就再也没必要跟不值得的人纠缠了，这是进一步见证本领的方式。这里所谓的本领即选择跟谁出去的权利在你。YourLonerHabitsAreTooStrongtoBreak?问题七：心墙太厚，难以攻破Habitsarelikerivers:youcan'tturnifyoudon'thaveenoughwillpower.Atthesametime,youdon’tneedtobesupermantogetasociallife.Allyouneedisasetofstrategictechniquesthatwillallowyoutonewhabitsthatautomatically