【读后续写】2021年12月北斗星盟高二联考读后续写讲评：A Special Christmas Present 名师课件-陈星可

2021年12月北斗星盟高二联考读后续写讲评ChristmasDayinthe

Morning陈星可

浙江省天台中学CONTENTSStoryunderstandingandlanguagelearningPlotdesigningLanguageaccumulationWorkappreciationThegivenpartofthestory

ItwasthenightbeforeChristmasandRobwaslyinginbed,thinkingaboutthenextday.Hisfamilywaspoor,livingentirelyonthefarmtheyran,andmostoftheexcitementofChristmaswasintheturkeytheyhadraisedthemselvesandpumpkinpieshismothermade.Herolledovertolookathisoldwatch-itwastwoo'clock.Threehourslater,hisfatherwouldcallhimtogetup,evenifitwasChristmas.Hisfathernevertalkedaboutlovinghim-hehadnotimeforsuchthings.Therewasalwayssomuchtodoonthefarm.“Or,maybe,hejustdoesn’tloveme,”Robthought.Hehadareasontothinkso.At5o’clockeverymorning,hisfatherwouldcallhimtogetupandhelpwiththefarmwork.Hehadtogotothebarn(棚)toholdthemilkingpails(挤奶桶)steadilywhenhisfatherwasmilkingthecow.Hehadtohelpputthetoolsinplaceanddothecleaningafterthemilking.Hehateditthathehadtodoallthesethingsatsoearlytime.Hewasnottheonlyoneawakeatthisnight.Heheardhisparentswhisperinginthenextroom.“Mary,IhatetocallRobinthemornings.He’sgrowingsofastThegivenpartofthestoryandheneedshissleep.IfyoucouldseehowhesleepswhenIgointowakehimup!IwishIcouldmanagealone.”“Well,youcan’t,Adam.”Hismothersvoicewasgentle,Besides,heisn’tachildanymore.It'stimehetookhisturn.”“Yes,”hisfathersaidslowly.“ButIdohatetowakehim.”Whenheheardthesewords,somethinginhimspoke:hisfatherlovedhim!Hehadneverthoughtofthatbefore,takingforgrantedthetieoftheirblood.Nowthatheknewhisfatherlovedhim,hehadtodosomethingdifferentonthisChristmas.Hedidsaveandbuythemeachsomethingeveryyear,buthewishedhehadabetterpresentforhisfatherinsteadoftheusualtiefromtheten-centstore.

Paragraph1:Agoodideasuddenlystruckhim._________________________Paragraph2:Itbeingalmostfive,herushedbacktohisroomandjumpedintobed,waitingtobewokenup.___________________________________________Abouttheauthor：PearlS.Buck（赛珍珠）Well-knownauthor,PearlS.Buckwrotemultiplebooksandshortstoriesthroughoutherlifetime,manyofwhichfocusedonherexperiencesinChina.Shewasalsoastrongadvocateofwomen’srightsandcivilrightsandwasdedicatedtosupportingthewelfareofAsianchildren.BornintoafamilyofmissionariesonJune26,1892,PearlspentherfirstfewmonthsinWestVirginia.However,soonafterherbirth,herparentsreturnedtoZhanjiang,China,wheretheystayedformanyyears.Followingthat,sheandherfamilytraveledtoandfromChinamanytimes.ItwasherearlylifeandexperiencesinChinathatformedthebasesofmuchofherwriting,includingEastWind:WestWindandTheGoodEarth.Beauseofherachievements,shereceivednumerousawardsinliterature.BuckdiedonMarch6,1973,leavingalegacyofliteratureandphilanthropy.Shewroteoverseventybooks,whichincludenovels,translationsofChineseliterature,children’sliterature,andbiographies.UnderstandingthestoryRob’sfamilywaspoor,1._______livedentirelyonthefarmtheyranandtheonlyexcitementofChristmaswasafarm-raisedturkeyandhome-madepumpkinpies.Everymorning,hewould2.____________(wake)upearlybyhisfathertohelp3._______themilkingandcleaninginthebarn,whichmadehim4._________(convince)thathisfatherdidn’tlovehimatall.OneearlyChristmasmorning,5.___________,Robwasawakeandbyaccidentlearnedthroughhis6.___________(parent)whisperthathisfatherwasactuallylovinghim.Hewasunwillingtowakehimupsoearly7.________Rogwasgrowingfastthesedaysandhopedthathe8.__________(he)couldmanagetheworkalone.Somewhattouched,hedecidedtodosomethingdifferentas9._______presenttohisfatherinsteadoftheusualtiefromtheten-centstore.Hismind10.________(work)fast,anideapoppedintohismind.

convincedbewakenwithwhohoweverparents’ashimselfaworkingLearninglanguage1.经营一家农场2.喂养火鸡3.翻身4.有理由做某事

无缘无故地5.帮助干农场上的活6.把...放就位7.不想干某事8.该轮到某人了9.把...想当然10.既然11.突然学到一个主意12.等着被叫醒1.run/manageafarm2.raisetheturkey3.rollover4.haveareasontodosth.fornoreason5.helpwiththefarmwork6.put...inplace7.hatetodosth.8.takeone’sturn9.take...forgranted10.nowthat11.Itstruck/hitsb.that...12.waittobewakenupDesigningtheplot--UnderlinedwordsRob

father

barn

Christmaspresentlovegetupmilkingmanagedifferent

Tip1:根据划线词可以判断情节的基本走向：Rob独立挤牛奶来作为圣诞礼物送给爸爸，回报爸爸的爱。Tip2:抽象名词present可以作为续写升华部分的出发点和归结点。Tip3:尽可能多的使用划线词可以有效防止情节的走偏。1.RobdecidedtomilkthecowsbeforeDadwokeup,makingitadifferentpresenttohisfather.2.Instantly,hejumpedoutofthebed,pulledontheclothesandslippedoutintothebarn.3.Thoughthemilkingalonewasachallenge,littleRobmanageditwell,withthecows’perfectcooperation.4.ThrowinghimselfintoDad’sarms,hesaid“MerryChristmas,Dad!Iloveyou”5.Thebarnwassoquiet,withcowslookingatRob,sleepyandconfused.Designingtheplot--firstsentences--Q&AParagraph1:Agoodideasuddenlystruckhim._________________________

Paragraph2:Itbeingalmostfive,herushedbacktohisroomandjumpedintobed,waitingtobewokenup.___________________________________________逆推法Q2:Howdidheputtheideaintopractice?Q1:Whatwasthegoodidea？Andthereasonorthepurpose?Q3:Howdidhefeelaboutwhathehaddone?Q1:Didhisfathercometowakehimup?Why?Q2:Howdidfatherreacttowhathehadfoundinthebarn?Q3:HowdidRobfeelaboutthepresent?AndwhatwasinhismindShewenttothebarn.Designingtheplot--firstsentences--Q&AParagraph1:Agoodideasuddenlystruckhim._________________________

Q1:Whatwasthegoodidea？Andthereasonorthepurpose?Whynotgivehisfatheraspecialpresent,outthereinthebarn?“MaybeIcandoalltheworkfatherdoeseverymorningsothatfathercanhavearelaxingChristmas,”Robthoughttohimself.“Icandoalltheworkinthebarninadvance,asadifferentpresenttoDad,”Robsaidtohimself,excitementfillinghisheart.Thethoughtstruckhimlikeasilverdagger.

Whyshouldhenotgivehisfatheraspecialgifttoo?

Designingtheplot--firstsentences--Q&AParagraph1:Agoodideasuddenlystruckhim._________________________

Q2:Howdidheputtheideaintopractice?Hegotupandputonhisclothes.

Hecreptdownstairs,carefulofthecreakyboards,andlethimselfout.

Thecowslookedathim,sleepyandsurprised.

Itwasearlyforthem,too.

Instantly,hejumpedoutofbed,pulledonhisclothesandslippedoutintothebarn.Immediately,hethrewonhisclothesinthedark,carefullyopenedthedoorandtiptoedouttothebarn,carefulenoughnottoawakehisparents.Designingtheplot--firstsentences--Q&AParagraph1:Agoodideasuddenlystruckhim._________________________

Q2:Howdidheputtheideaintopractice?Hehadnevermilkedallalonebefore,butitseemedalmosteasy.

Hesmiledandmilkedsteadily,twostrongstreamsrushingintothepail,frothingandfragrant.Thetaskwentmoreeasilythanhehadeverknownittogobefore.

Itwassomethingelse,agifttohisfatherwholovedhim.

Hefinished,thetwomilkcanswerefull,andhecoveredthemandclosedthemilkhousedoorcarefully.Andthenexttwohourswitnessedtheboybusyworkinthebarn:carefullyputtingthepailsinasteadypositionandmilkingthecowsonebyone.Withthemilkingdone,hecautiouslyplacedthetoolsbackinplaceanddidthecleaning.Designingtheplot--firstsentences--Q&AParagraph1:Agoodideasuddenlystruckhim._________________________

Q3:Howdidhefeelaboutwhathehaddone?Lookingaroundatthebarn,Robcouldn’thelpsmiling,satisfactionandpridewrittenalloverhisface.Hecouldevenimaginefather’ssurprisedscream.Backinhisroomhehadonlyaminutetopulloffhisclothesinthedarknessandjumpintobed,forheheardhisfatherup.Imagininghowfatherwouldreactwhenhefoundwhathehaddone,hecouldn’thelpsmiling.Lookingatthewatch,hefounditwasalmostfive.Soheimmediatelyslippedbacktohisbedroomandontothebed,soexcitedandexpectantthathelaywideawake.Designingtheplot--firstsentences--Q&A

Paragraph2:Itbeingalmostfive,herushedbacktohisroomandjumpedintobed,waitingtobewokenup.___________________________________________

Q1:Didhisfathercometowakehimup?Why?Asusual,fathercameintoRob’sroomandcalledRob,gentlybutunwillingly.UnwillingtodisturbhisRobatsoearlytime,especiallywhenitwasChristmas,hewenttobarnwithoutRob,attemptinhtomanageitalone.Pretendingtobeasleep,hedidn’topenhiseyesuntilhisfathercalledhisname.Wonderingwhyhisfatherdidn’twakehimupasusual,helayinbed,closelymindingtheapproachingsteps.“Rob!”Hisfathercalled,“Wehavetogetup,evenifitisChristmas.I’llgetthingsstarted.”Roblaystill,laughingtohimself.Injustafewminuteshisfatherwouldknow.Hisdancingheartwasreadytojumpfromhisbody.Designingtheplot--firstsentences--Q&A

Paragraph2:Itbeingalmostfive,herushedbacktohisroomandjumpedintobed,waitingtobewokenup.___________________________________________

Q2:Howdidfatherreacttowhathehadfoundinthebarn?Theminuteswereendless—ten,fifteen,hedidnotknowhowmany—thenheheardhisfather’sfootstepsagain.

Thedooropenedandhelaystill.Hisfatherwaslaughingaqueersobbingsortoflaugh.Whentheygottothebarn,whatgreetedthemreallymadefatherpuzzled,butsoonhecametounderstandthewholething.Proudlyandgently,hepattedRobontheshoulder,sayingthiswasthebestChristmaspresenthehadeverreceivedfromRob.Whenheopenedthebarndoor,whatgreetedhimwasthatalltheworkwasdoneandallthetoolsinplace,whichtookhimbyamazement.Andthenextmomentsawhissonrunningintohisarms,“MerryChristmas,dad.Iloveyou.”Designtheplot--firstsentences--Q&A

Paragraph2:Itbeingalmostfive,herushedbacktohisroomandjumpedintobed,waitingtobewokenup.___________________________________________

Q3:HowdidRobfeelaboutthepresent?Andwhatwasinhismind?Hisheartwasburstingwithlove.

Oh,whataChristmas,andhowhishearthadnearlyburstagainwithshynessandprideashisfathertoldhismotherandmadetheyoungerchildrenlistenabouthowhe,Rob,hadgotupallbyhimself.Feelinghimselfgrownup,RobdecidedtohelpmoreonthefarmandgivehisfatherasurpriseeveryChristmasahead.Hefoundhisfatherhadclutchedhiminagreathug.Hefelthisfather’sarmsgoaroundhim.“Thankyou.Nobodyeverdidanicerthing.”Languageaccumulation---兴奋Seeingsuchextraordinarybeauty,everycellinmybodywokeup.Itwaslikediscoveringanewdimensionoflife.Whenthehostannouncedthatshewontheprize,hereyestwinkledwithexcitement.Herheartwasthumping/beatingwithexcitement.Myheartwaspounding/ringing/echoinginmyears.Hisdancingheartwasreadytojumpfromhisbody.Theexcitementbuiltupinsideofmeasbreakfastwenton.Sheburst/erupted/jumpedwithexcitement/joy.Shelaughed,hereyes

shining/sparking/sparkling/glistening/glowing

withexcitement.Hecouldhardlyconceal/containhisexcitementandgavemeanenormoushug.Beaming/Brimmingwithjoy,Shesharedthecheeringnewswithme.Thegamehadthecrowdontheedgeoftheirseats.参考范文：

Agoodideasuddenlystruckhim.Whynotgivehisfatheraspecialpresent,outthereinthebarn?Hequicklygotupandcreptdownstairsontiptoes.Thecowslookedathim,sleepyandsurprised.Itwasearlyforthemtoo,buttheybehavedwell,asthoughtheyknewitwasChristmas.Robhadnevermilkedallalonebefore,butthetaskwentmoreeasilythanhehadeverknownbefore.Hesmiledandmilkedsteadily,twostrongstreamsrushingintothepail,freshandfragrant.Finishingallthemilkingandcleaning,hewentoutofthebarnandclosedthedoorbehindhim.98

Itbeingalmostfive,herushedbacktohisroomandjumpedintobed,waitingtobewokenup.“Rob!”Hisfathercalled,“Wehavetogetup,evenifitisChristmas.I’llgetthingsstarted.”Roblaystill,laughingtohimself.Injustafewminuteshisfatherwouldknow.Hisdancingheartwasreadytojumpfromhisbody.Theminuteswereendless-ten,fifteen,hedidnotknowhowmany--andheheardhisfather’sfootstepsagain.“Rob!”Hisfatherwaslaughing,aqueersobbingsortoflaugh.“It’sforChristmas,Dad!”Hefoundhisfatherhadclutchedhiminagreathug.Hefelthisfather’sarmsgoaroundhim.“Thankyou.Nobodyeverdidanicerthing.”105下水作文

：

Agoodideasuddenlystruckhim.“Icandowhatfatherdoeseverymorningbeforehewakesup,”Robthoughttohimself,excitementfillinghisheart.Instantly,hejumpedoutofbed,pulledonhisclothesandslippedoutintothebarn.Andthenexttwohourswitnessedtheboybusyworkinthebarn:carefullyputtingthepailsinasteadypositionandmilkingthecowsonebyone.Withthemilkingdone,hecautiouslyplacedthetoolsbackinplaceanddidthecleaning.Lookingaroundatthebarn,Robcouldn’thelpsmiling,satisfactionandpridewrittenalloverhisface.Hecouldevenimaginefather’ssurprisedscream.103点评：可以给以第五档的分数（21-25）1.与所给短文融合度高，与所提供的各段落开头语衔接合理。2.使用分词作状语、独立主格结构、with复合结构等高级语法结构，句式多样。3.instantly，pullon,witness,inplace,cautiously等高级词汇的运用，增加了表达的丰富性。4.Andthenexttwohourswitnessedtheboy时空转换手段的有效运用，使短文结构紧凑，读起来更为流畅。下水作文：

Itbeingalmostfive,herushedbacktohisroomandjumpedintobed,waitingtobewokenup.Asusual,fathercameintoRob’sroom.Pretendingtobeasleep,hedidn’topenhiseyesuntilhisfathercalledhisname.Whentheygottothebarn,whatgreetedthemreallymadefatherpuzzled,butsoonhecametounderstandthewholething.Proudlyandgently,hepattedRobontheshoulder,sayingthiswasthebestChristmaspresenthehadeverreceivedfromRob.Withanexcited“MerryChristmas,dad.Iloveyou!”,hethrewhimselfintofather’sarms.Feelinghimselfgrownup,RobdecidedtohelpmoreonthefarmandgivehisfatherasurpriseeveryChristmasahead.103点评：可以给以第五档的分数（21-25）1.与所给短文融合度高，与所提供的各段落开头语衔接合理。2.使用分词作状语、名词性从句、修饰性副词置于句首等高级语法结构，句式多样。3.greet,threwhimselfintofather’sarms,everyChristmasahead等高级词汇的运用，增加了表达的丰富性。4.采用“展望未来式”的手来走位文本的结尾，有着积极向上的意义。更多圣诞节话题读后续写1：2021年3月“七彩阳光”高三下返校联考

TheWilsonswerehavingdinner.ThefoodwasleftfromtheirThanksgivingdinnertwodaysbefore：turkeysoupandturkeymeatmixedwithpotatoes.Eleven-year-oldAngelinaasked，”Arewehavingturkeyicecream,too?”Herfatherreplied,“Angelina,haveyouforgottenthatIhadnojobforawholeyear?NowIhaveworkagain.Youshouldbeverythankful.”“I'msorryIsaidthatabouttheturkey!ButunlessIgetanewdress，IwillnotlookgoodfortheChristmasFestival.”Angelinamurmured.TheFestivalwasthewinterholidaycelebrationofagroupshebelongedto:theAvalonGirls'ServiceClub.Theywrotecheerfulcardsforhospitalpatients.Theycookedmealsforthehomeless.ButtheChristmasFestivalwasdifferent.Thegirlsworepartyclothesandmanypeoplecametoseethemperform.Angelinahadonlyaplaingraydressthatshehadworntotheeventlastyear.Andnowitwasalittletooshort.Angelinaappealedtoherparentstobuyoneforher,abeautifulreddressinForbes'Store.Hermothersighed,“Well,wecannotbuyit.Wehavetobecareful.YouneverknowwhenImightlosemyjob.”

更多圣诞节话题读后续写1：2021年3月“七彩阳光”高三下返校联考

Allhopewasnotgone.TherewasasignintheForbes’storewindowthatsaid”layaway(分期付款)”.Angelinapulledtenworndollarbillsfromhercoatpocket.Sherantothestoreandbeggedthesalesperson,Mrs.Harding,tohold’her’dressforher.”Ok.Butyoumustcomebackintwoweekstopaytherest”Angelinafeltlikejumpingintotheair.ShewassohappythatshetoldMrs.HardingabouttheAvalonServiceClub'sworkanditsChristmasparty.Then,Angelinashookandsufferedinthecoldwindlookingforwork.Finally,Angelinagotajobmakingnewclothingfordolls.Angelinawasexcellentatsewing.Sureenough,thedolls'dressesturnedoutbeautiful.Shegottwentydollars.Still，shewasfarfromhavingenoughmoneyforherdress.Shefelthelplessasthefinalpaymentdatearrived.ShereturnedsadlytoForbes'Store,“Idon'thaveenoughmoneyforthedress.”ThenshesawMrs.Harding'seyeswerered.Shelookedlikeshehadbeencrying.Shesaidthestorewasclosingandshewaslosingherjob.参考范文：

Suddenly,MrsHardingsaidthatshewouldpaytherestofthemoneysoAngeliacouldhaveit.ThiscommitmentmadeAngeliaecstatic,herheartthumpingwildly.ThefantasticsceneofherpeersintheclubsurroundingherandcastingenviousandworshipinglookoverattheChristmaspartyflashedacrosshermind.Herfaceflushedandeyessparkled.Gigglesandchucklesweretosoundwhenadepressedfacewithredeyesreflectedintohereyes.Sheshiveredwithagustofchillinstantlyrunningdownherspine.ShefeltalittleashamedforhermomentaryselfishthoughtofbeautifyingherselfregardlessofthehardsituationofMrsHarding.Heracceptingheartwithdrew.“Thankyouverymuchindeedforyourkindness!MrsHarding!”saidAngelia,“MerryChristmastoyouandgoodluckforyourjobhunting!”Shestrodeout.

参考范文：

Outside,AngelinasawamanwholookedlikeSantaClauswasaskingpeopleformoneytohelppoorpeople.Standinginthehardblowingwindandflutteringdensesnowflakes,hewasseenbusywarmlygreetingandsaying“Thankyou!MerryChristmas!”tothepedestriansdroppingmoneyinthecharitybox,afacebrimmingwithhappiness.“Donateitorkeepitformyself？”shepondered,withaconflictingheart,holdingtightlythetwenty-dollarbillshehadearnedbysewingharddollclothing,“Theformerwillgototheneedypeopleforlifenecessitiesandthelatter,thelong-expecteddress,maybe,isjusttoshowoff.”Thehauntingred-eyedMrsHardingaswellastheamazinglysimilar-seeminglifescenewhereherfatherhadbeenlaidoffdeterminedherchoice.ShesteppedupandgavehimhermoneyintheadmiringlookoftheSantaClausandotherdonators.Snowflakeswerestilldancingalongwithherdreamofchildrenallwearingbeautifuldresses.MelodiousChristmassongswereonandon!更多圣诞节话题读后续写2：AChristmaspresent

Severalyearsago,IwaslivinginNewYorkandworkingforanairline,soInevergotbackhomeforChristmas.MyChristmaswashappytoowithsomeothercolleaguesaround.ButinmyheartIwassadbecauseIcouldn'tstaywithmyfamily.SometimesmycolleagueswouldsayourChristmaswasfilledwithtears.ButthisChristmaswasdifferent.Iwaslucky.Ihadthewholedayoff,whichmeantIcouldstaywithmyfamilyonChristmasEve.WhenChristmasmorningcame,Iawoketoasmallhandrubbingmyface.“Dad,MerryChristmas!”wasallmyyoungersonhadtimetosay.Heseemedtoberacingagainsttime.Iknewhewashuntingforgiftswithhisbrothereagerly.Igotdownstairsjusttoseethetwolittleboys’facesastheylookedatthepocketrocketsSantaClaushadleftthem.IrealizedthattherealChristmaswasforthechildrenwhohaddeepbeliefintheamazingpowerofSantaClaus.Atfirst,theirfingerswentalmostshylyovertheirtoys.Whentheirinspection(检查)hadbeencompleted,thetwoboysensuredthatthegiftswerereallydeliveredbySantaClausandtheydraggedeverythingintothecenterofthelivingroom.更多圣诞节话题读后续写2：

Delightfloodedtheroom.Astheirmotherbegangivingoutgifts,Ismiledtomyself,wonderinghowmyunexpectedgiftsthisyearwouldbereceived.WithsomanyChristmasspentoutside,IhadpreparedsomanygiftsformychildrenandtogetherwithmywifeIhidtheminseveralsecretplaces.Butthechildrenwereexcellentdetectivesandtheyfoundallofthem.TheywerehappilyopeningpackagesconstantlythankingconsiderateSantaClausforhiskindnessandabilitytoknowtheirdesires.ButIhadnotreceivedasingleone.IknewtheyhadforgottenmyexistencewithmyabsencefromtheirChristmastheseyears.Paragraph1:Ihadtoadmitthatmydisappointmentwasgrowingsteadily.______________________________________________________________

Paragraph2:Suddenlymywifewalkeduptome.___________________________________________________________________________参考范文：

Ihadtoadmitthatmydisappointmentwasgrowingsteadily.IwaswonderingwhetherIcouldgetagiftwhenmyyoungersonrantome,whowasreallykindenoughtosavemyface.HeaskedmetoadmirehisgiftwhichhedeeplybelievedwascarefullychosenbySantaClaus.Hesaidhappilythathewouldsharesomeofthegiftsofhisandallowmetochooseonefromthem.Ithankedhimfromthebottomofmyheart,stillfeelingdisappointed.

Suddenlymywifewalkeduptome.ItseemedthatshehadguessedhowIfelt.SheaskedmetolookattheChristmastreewhichwasdecoratedwithsomanyboxes.Ithoughtshewasshowingoffhereffortsonthedecorationbutshetookoffasmallboxandpassedittome,smilingandsayingitwasforme.Iopeneditandsawaletterwhichread“Wewillneverforgetyou.

MerryChristmas!”Undertheletterwasawatchwhichwasclickingwithdelight.Iwasmovedtotears.更多圣诞节话题读后续写3：AChristmaspresent

Itwasthelate1930s,andthingsweretough.MumhadahardtimeraisingusonherowninoursmallcommunityofNewWestminster,BC.MydadhaddrownedinPittLake,fiveyearsago.Lookingback,IrealizedwhatMumwentthroughsendinguskidstoschool.Everymorningshewouldputanewpieceofcardboard(纸板)inourshoes,becauseoursoles(鞋底)werewornout.Whenwegothome,Mumwouldhave“Frenchbread”readyforus.Constantmovingwastypicalformyfamilyinthosetimes.Rentwas25dollarsamonth,butMumcouldn’tpayit,andweknewwewouldbeevicted(驱逐)rightafterChristmasonthefirstofJanuary.

Christmaswasappro