国际商务函电：Chapter 1

BusinessLetterWritingLearningObjectives

theimportanceofbusinessletterwriting;theprinciplesofeffectivebusinessletterwriting;howtouseappropriatestylesandtonesinbusinessletterwriting;howtowritegood-newslettersandbad-newsletters.Chapter1Chapter1

Assoonasyoutakeonestepupthecareerladderyoureffectivenessdependsonyourabilitytocommunicateyourthoughtsinwritingandinspeaking.

PeterDruckerDiscussthefollowingquestions1)Whatarethefunctionsofabusinessletter?2)Whatarethemainformsbeingusedinbusinesscommunication?3)Whyisbusinesswritingconsideredtobeoneofthemostimportant

andvaluedskillsinthebusinessworldtoday?4)Whyisitstillnecessarytolearnhowtowritebusinessletterswhen

mostbusinesscommunicationsarenowtransmittedbyfaxesandemails?1Startingup

MeansofCommunicationLetterTelephoneFaxE-mailTelegramTelexReturn

TheSeven“Cs”Completeness

Concreteness

Clarity

Conciseness

CourtesyConsiderateness

Correctness

2ThePrinciplesofEffectiveBusinessWriting2.1Completeness

Agoodbusinesslettershouldbecomplete,providingalltheinformationanddatanecessaryforaspecificissue.

Five“Ws”(who,what,where,whenandwhy)andone“h”(how)shouldbeconsideredtoverifythecompletenessofwhatyouwrite.Example:

Anorderregardingthenameofcommodity,specificationandquantity"CelluloseTape1/2"x3yds,withplasticdispenser700doz./ditto-but1/2"x5yds,1000doz.”“纤素带（幅）宽半英寸，长３码，带塑料包装容器，７0０打；同上，但（幅）宽宽半英寸，长５码，1000打。”

Problem:thesecondpartofthesentenceisnotclear.

“ditto”hererefersto

“cellulosetape”,butdoesitinclude“withplasticdispenser”?Soitisnotclearandcompletewhether“cellulosetape1/2”x5yds”includesplasticdispenser.

Better：

CelluloseTape1/2"x3yds,withplasticdispenser700doz.CelluloseTape1/2"x5yds，withplasticdispenser1000doz.

2.2ConcretenessConcretenessmeansbeingspecific,definiteandvividratherthanvague,generalandabstract.Comparethefollowingsentences:(1)Poor:Pleasesendusyourcataloguesontools.Better:Pleasesendusyourcataloguesonhandtools.Weareparticularlyinterestedinhandtoolsforuseingardening.Reason：Alargecompanymayhaveseveralcataloguesconcerningdifferentkindsoftoolsandisnotlikelytosendallofthem.(2)Poor:Alloffersbyfaxarevalidfor5days.Better:Alloffersbyfaxarevalidfor5daysinclusiveofthedateofdispatch.Reason：Theabovesentencedoesnotclearlystateoraccountforspecific5days.2.3ClarityYoumustexpressyourselfclearlytomakesurethatthemessageconveysexactlywhatyouwishtosayandisnotliabletomisunderstanding.

Comparethefollowingsentences:Poor:AstothesteamersailingfromShanghaitoNewYork,wehavebimonthlydirectservices.

Better:WehaveadirectsailingfromShanghaitoNewYorkeverytwomonths.Better:WehavetwodirectsailingseverymonthfromShanghaitoNewYork.Better:WehaveadirectsailingfromShanghaitoNewYorkfortnightly.(2)

Poor:Wecansupply60metrictonsoftheitemonly.Better:Wecanonlysupply60metrictonsoftheitem.2.4ConcisenessConcisenessmeansthatitmustbewritteninthefewestpossiblewords.

Comparethefollowingsentences:Poor:Wehavebeguntoexportourmachinestoforeigncountries.

Better:Wehavebeguntoexportourmachines.(2)Poor:Weherebywishtoletyouknowthatwefullyappreciatetheconfidenceyouhavereposedinourproduct.

Better:Weappreciateyourconfidenceinourproduct.

(3)Poor:Incompliancewithyourrequest,weimmediatelycontactedourheadofficeinLondonandnowwishtoinformyouoftheresultasfollows.Better:AsrequestedweimmediatelycontactedourheadofficeinLondonwiththefollowingresult.2.5CourtesyCourtesymeanstreatingpeoplewithrespectandfriendlyhumanconcern.Businesslettersmustbecourteouswithoutbeingservile,firmandemphaticwhennecessarywithoutbeingrudeoraggressive.Comparethefollowingsentences:(2)Poor:YouarerequestedtoshipthegoodsweorderedonMay5withoutanydelay.

Better:YourpromptshipmentofthegoodsweorderedonMay5willbehighlyappreciated.Poor:Wearesorrythatyoumisunderstoodus.

Better:Wearesorrythatwedidn’tmakeourselvesclear.(3)Poor:Wehavereceivedyourletterinwhichyouclaimedthattenteasetsweredamagedinshipment.Better:Wehavenoticedinyourletterthatadamagetotenteasetswasfoundinshipment.2.6ConsideratenessConsideratenessmeansyoushouldbeconsiderateofyourreader.ConsideratenessemphasizesYou-attituderatherthanWe-attitude.Comparethefollowingsentences:“We”attitude“You”attitudeWeallow5%discountforcashpayment.Youearna5%discountwhenyoupaycash.

(1)a.Wedonotbelievethatyouwillhavecausefordissatisfaction.(Negative)

b.Wefeelsurethatyouwillentirelygetsatisfies.

(Positive)

(2)a.Yourorderwillbedelayedfortwoweeks.(Negative)b.Yourorderwillbeshippedintwoweeks.(Positive)2.7CorrectnessCorrectnessreferstoaccuracyinstyle,languageandtyping.Thewritermustmakeeveryefforttoensurethattheletteriscorrectinallrespects.Examples:(1)

Alloffersbyfaxareopenfor5days.Revise:Alloffersbyfaxareopenfor5daysinclusiveofthedayofdispatch.(2)

Youaskveryshortdeliveryofyourorder..Revise:Yourequirepromptdeliveryofyourorder.(3)Thegoodssuppliedareexactlyequaltothesample.Revise:Thegoodssuppliedaresimilarinqualitytothesample.1.3TheStyleandToneofBusinessLetterWriting

Styleandtonecanbeconsideredastwosidesofthesamecoin.Styleismadeupofwordsandsentencesthatawriterchoosesinordertoproduceadesiredresponseinthereaders.Tonereferstotheunwrittenorunspokenmessagethatcomesacrossinyourcommunications–themessage“betweenthelines”

Theessentialqualitiesofagoodbusinessletteraresincerity,simplicityandclarity.

1.UseconversationalstyleThebestwaytowriteabusinessletteristomakeitconformascloselyaspossibletospokenEnglish.

AlexanderL.SheffExample:DearMr.Jones,ThankyouforyourletterofMarch12,inwhichyoupromisedimmediateshipmentofthebrasscouplingsweorderedonMarch6.Thisshipmentisseveraldaysoverdue,andourworkingisbeingheldup.Couldyoupleaselookupintothisandseewhatyoucandoaboutgettingthesecouplingstousassoonaspossible.Weknowyouwilldoyourbest.Yourscordially,2.AvoidthearchaiclanguageofbusinessSuchexpressionsas“webegtoacknowledge”,“takethelibertyof”“acknowledgereceiptof”,“youresteemedfavourtohand”areconsideredtobethearchaiclanguageofbusiness.Thetoneiscoldandoutofdate.Agoodwritershouldtakecaretogiveupsuchstaleexpressions.Example:

Webegtoacknowledgereceiptofyourfavourofthe26thinst.WithregardtotheestimateandplansrequiredfortheerectionofabungalowonthevacantsiteincloseproximitytotheArgosyTheatre,andshallhavepleasureinarrangingforourarchitecttocallonyouwithaviewtoadiscussionofthematteronFridaynext,the3rdpro.atthreeo’clock,whichwetrustwillmeetyourconvenience.Inthemeantime,weencloseherewithplansofatypeofbungalowwecanrecommend,andbegtoremain,YourtrulyRevisedVersionThankyouforyourletterof26FebruaryrequestinganestimateandplansforerectingabungalowonthevacantsiteneartheArgosyTheatre.WewillarrangeforourarchitecttocalltodiscussthematternextFriday,3March,at3o’clockifconvenienttoyou.Meanwhileweencloseplansforabungalowwerecommend.

Peopleenjoyandreactfavorablytopositivemessages.Apositivetonebuildsthereader’sconfidenceinthewriter’sabilitytosolveproblemsandstrengthenpersonalandbusinessrelationships.Positivewordsemphasizethepleasureaspectsofthelettergoalsandtendtoputthereaderintherightframeofmind.Theyalsocreatethegoodwillatmospherereadersseekinmostletters.

3.Usepositivelanguageandavoidanger1.4Good-newsLettersandBad-newsLettersBusinesslettersarebroadlycategorizedbytheirpurposeasfollows:(1)Neutralorgood-newlettersconveyingpositivemessagessuchas:

grantingcredit

agreeingtoarequest

introducingyourcompany

requestinginformation

orderinggoods(2)Bad-newslettersconveyingdisappointingorupsettingmessagessuchas:

refusingcredit,adjustmentorsupply

declininganoffer,arequestoranapplication(3)Persuasivelettersconveyingmessagesaimedtoconvincethereaderto:

payanaccount

buyaproduct

supportaproject

acceptaproposalHowtowritegood-newsletters?

Thegeneralstructureforamessageconveyingpositiveinformation:Presentthemostimportantinformationinthepositiveway;Specifythewho,what,whereandhowrelatedtotheactionyouaregoingtotake;Closetheletterconfidentlyandpolitely.DearMr.Jones,IamverypleasedtoencloseourcheckforUSD8000,whichisourfinancialaidtoyourEarthProtectionProgram.Iwouldappreciateyoursendingusareceiptforthemoneyatyourearliestconvenience.Thisfinancialaidshowsourincreasedsupportforyourresearch.Ibelievethatthisaid,togetherwiththefinancialsupportfromyourotherbenefactors,willhelpyourfutureresearchforprotectingourearth.Wearealwaysreadytohelpyouwhennecessary.Sincerelyyours,Howtowritebadnewsletters?Nonewsisgoodnews,theoldsayinggoes.Butsometimesbadnewsisunavoidable.Ratherthanblurtitoutinthefirstparagraph,whichislikelytoangerthereaderandpreventanobjectivereadingoftherestofyourletter,breakupyourbadnewsintochunks.Withastrategyforeachparagraph,followthesebasicstepstomakethebestofabadsituation.●Opentheletterwithacourteousgreeting;●Explaintherelevantsituationbecausethemorethereaderunderstandsthereasons,thelesslikelyhewillthinkthatthedecisionisunfair;●Presentthebadnews,whichshouldbethelogicalandnaturaloutcomeoftheexplanation;●Closewithapositiveparagraphorsentence.Sampleletter

DearMr.Anderson

ThankyouforyourletterofSeptember15.WeappreciateyourinquiryconcerningyourBenson500motorcycle.Wewanttosatisfyourcustomerswithhigh-qualityproductsandservice.

TheBensonBikeShopcarriesaone-yearwarranteeonallpartsandlaborundernormalusage.Page6ofyourowner'smanualstatesthat2-cycleengineoilandunleadedgasolinemustbeusedforthewarranteetobeineffect.Ourinspectionofyoumotorcycleengineshowedthat10W30oilhadbeenused,alongwithleadedgasoline.Theuseofincorrectoilandgasolinehascausedtheproblemsyouareexperiencing.

Ourskilledtechnicianscanrepairyourmotorcycleengineattheusualrate.Therepairsareguaranteedfor90days.Weareconfidentthatwecanrestoreyourenginetoexcellentworkingcondition,andwewouldbehappytoansweranymaintenancequestionsyoumayhave.

Pleasecallourrepaircenterat425-564-7889totellusifyouwouldlikeustoproceedwiththerepairs.AssoonasyourengineisrepairedyouwillbeabletoenjoyridingyourBenson500onceagain.

Sincerely

Your"buffer"paragraph--donotgivethe"badnews"intheopeningparagraph.

ExplainWHYbeforeyoutellorinferthebadnewsthattheguaranteewillnotcovertherepair.Alwaystrytotell

whatyouCANdotohelpsolvetheproblem

EndwithyourCALLFORACTIONandapositivestatement.ExcersisesPracticemakesperfect1.

Fillintheblankswiththewordsandphrasesgiveninthebox.Changetheformswherenecessary.drawn-outprojectrapportcompromisemaximizetothepointinsb’sshoescontributetoputforwardinclusiveofsetdownboundtoverifyportrayloseoutreposepromptdemandentitletwosidesofthesamecoinExercises(1)Oneadvantageofthetelephoneisthatit________alivevoice,arealperson,whocanbothlistenandrespondtoasituation.(2)Partiesmutuallyagreetosubmittoarbitrationinthehopeofavoiding___________publicclashesinthecourts.(3)Allthepricesquotedhereinafterare_____________your2%commission.(4)Somepeoplebelievethatfreedomofenterprisesisthemostefficientwayof____________economicgrowth.(5)Theremustbetrustfrombothsidesinordertocreateanewworking_______.(6)Thecallismadebecausesomeonehasarequestorproblem.Soyoushouldget___________justasquicklyasyouwouldinabusinessletter.(7)Apromptorderwillcertainly________thebuyertogetearlydeliverywhichwillbenefithimagreatdeal.(8)You’dbetter________yourprioritiesbeforethestartofeachday'swork.(9)Itis_________thattheimporteropentherelativeL/Conemonthbeforethedelivery.(10)HavingbeendoingbusinesswithMr.Brownformanyyears,we_______completeconfidenceinhishonesty.projectsdrawn-outininclusiveofmaximizing

rapport

tothepointentitlesetdowndemandedrepose

(11)Atthemeetingyesterdaymanysuggestivecountermeasures________________.(12)Weunderstandthattheappearanceofthepackage___________greatlytothesaleifconsumergoods.(13)Hehashadsomuchtroublerecentlythatweoughttobegratefulwearenot_____________.(14)Anydiscussionofthismatteris_________causealotofarguments.(15)Itseemsthattheyarenotreadyto___________onprices.(16)Dreamsandreality,likesuccessandfailure,are_____________________.(17)Theaccountsmust___________beforetheendofthismonth.(18)Withconfidencewecan_______thefinerpointsofourpersonalityinsuchawaythattheplaceswherewedolackareneverhighlighted.(19)Infaceofcompetitionfromthetransnationalcompanies,smallfirmsareboundto________.(20)________bythedesiretoconcludethetransactionwithyou,wearepreparedtocutdownthequotedpriceby3%.wereputforwardcontributesinhisshoesboundtocompromisetwosidesofthesamecoinbeverifiedportrayloseoutPrompted2.Revisethesentencesbyfollowingthewritingprinciplesyouhavelearnt.(1)Youfailedtoencloseyourcheckintheenvelope.(2)Wewanttohaveyourconfirmationonthispointquickly.

(3)Weshallbeabletodeliverthegoodsshortly.(4)Wewouldbeverypleasedtogetyourkindinformationonyourproduct.(5)Wecannotofferyouanyrefundsbecausethegoodsyoureturnedaredirtyandunusable.Theenvelopewereceiveddidnothaveacheckinit.Youwillbepleasedtohearthatyouwillsoonbeabletoreceivethegoods.Pleasesendusinformationonyourproduct.Youcouldobtainarefundifthegoodsyoureturnedhadremainedcleanandusable.Yourpromptconfirmationonthispointwouldbeappreciated.(6)Weherebywishtoletyouknowthatwefullyappreciatetheconfidenceyouhavereposedinourproducts.(7)Wewishtoexpressourheartfeltgratitudetoyouforyourkindcooperation.(8)Itisencouragingandinspiringtonotethatsaleswhicharereportedrightnowhaveincreasedthismonth.(9)Haveyoucometoadecisionregardingtheinstallationofthemachine?(10)Sampleswillbesentandofferswillbemadeuponreceiptofyourspecificenquiries.Weappreciateyourconfidenceinourproducts.

Thankyouforyourcooperation.Saleshaveincreased;thefiguresareencouraging.Haveyoudecidedtoinstallthemachine?

Sampleswillbesentandoffersmadeuponreceiptofyourspecificenquiries.(11)Wewishtoconfirmourorderweplacedwithyouyesterday.(12)Theitemsyouorderedwillbearrivingsoon.(13)Alloffersbyfaxarevalidforfivedays.(14)Youmustcutdownyourpriceby10%;otherwisewewillplaceourorderselsewhere.(15)WehavereceivedyourletterofMay1standitcontainedacompletesetofshippingdocuments.Wewishtoconfirmourorderweplacedwithyouon8May.Youwillreceiveyourorder466forElectricFansinabout20days.Weshippedthegoodsbyseathismorning.Alloffersbyfaxarevalidforfivedaysinclusiveofthedateofdispatch.Wewouldsuggestthatyoushouldcutdownyourpriceby10%;otherwisewehavenoalternativebuttoplaceourorderselsewhere.WehavereceivedyourletterofMay1stcontainingacompletesetofshippingdocuments.(16)Wecannotunderstandwhyyouhavehadtroublewiththesearticles.(17)Yourcounter-offerwasrejected.(18)Enclosedherewithpleasefindtwocopiesofcatalogueandapricelist.(19)Revisionsweremadetotheproposalafterallfactshadbeentakenintoconsideration.(20)Wehopeyouwon’tbedissatisfiedwiththenewrangeofourelectronicproducts.Wepresumethattheremustbesomereasonsforyourhavingtroublewiththesearticles.Iamafraidthatyourcounter-offerwasnotacceptable.

Weenclosetwocopiesofcatalogueandapricelist.Werevisedtheproposalafterconsideringallfacts.Wearesureyouwillbesatisfiedwiththenewrangeofourelectronicproducts.3.

RevisethefollowingletterwiththeemphasisonYou-attitude.

DearSir,MayIexpressmythanksfortheaccountthatyourecentlyopenedwithourstore.Wearepleasedtofurnishawidevarietyofproductsforthehomeorindividual.Wetrustyouwilltakefulladvantageofourstoreservices,forwehavethelargeststockinthecity.Alsowemakedeliveriesofourcustomers’purchasesfreeofchargewithinthirtymilesofourstore.Wealwaysliketoreceivevisitsfromourcustomers,butwealsotakeordersbyphone.OurCustomerServiceDepartmentaimstofilleveryorderwithinthesamedaywereceiveit.WewelcomeyoutoSt.Johnson’s.Ifwecanbeofadditionalserviceinanymanner,pleasecallonus.Yoursfaithfully,Revised:DearSir,Thankyoufortheaccountyourecentlyopenedwithourstore.Furnishingyouwithawidevarietyofproductsforthehomeorindividualisapleasure.Youwillfind40departmentsatSt.Johnson’sstockedwithavarietyofqualityitems.Ourcourteoussalesclerksareheretoassistyouinselectingthemerchandisethatbestmeetsyourneeds.Ifyouprefertoshopwithinthecomfortofyourhome,insteadofcomingtothestore,youneedonlytophoneHA3-5678andaskforPersonalShoppingService.APersonalShopperwillgladlytakeyourorderforanynumberofitems,andseethegoodsyouorderreachyoubystoredeliverywithin24hoursofyourorder.YouarealwayswelcomeatSt.Johnson’s.Pleasecallonuswheneveryouneedadditionalservice.Yoursfaithfully,Themainpointsoftheletter:Duetotheprolongedcoldweather,thedemandforelectricblanketshasbeenexceptional;Furthersuppliersareexpectedintendays’time;Iftheorderisallowedtostand,promptdeliverywillthenbemade;Itisregrettedthatdeliverycannotbemadeatonce.

4.

Revisethefollowingletterwiththemainpointsbelowtomakeitconciseandtothepoint.DearSirsWeareinreceiptofyourorderofthe18thinstant,andhavepleasureininformingyouthattheorderyouhaveplacedwithuswillreceiveourbestattention,andthattheelectricblanketsyourequirewillbedeliveredtoyouassoonasweareinapositiontosupplythem.Weare,however,verysorrytosaythatourstockoftheseblanketsisatthemomentverydepleted,andowingtotheprolongedcoldweatherandtheresultingdemandwehavebeeninformedbythemanufacturersthattheyareunlikelytobeabletosupplyuswithafurtherstockforanothertendaysorso.Weareextremelysorrynotbeabletosatisfyyourrequirementsimmediately,butweassureyouthatwealwaysdoeverythingwepossiblycantoseethatyourordersaremetpromptly.Shouldyoufindyourselfunabletoobtainelsewheretheblanketsyouneed,orifyouareabletowaitforthemuntiltheendofthemonth,youwillperhapsbegoodenoughtoinformus.Onceagainexpressingourregretatbeingunabletofulfillyourorderonthisoccasionwithourusualpromptness,andtrustingyouwillcontinuetofavouruswithyourc