读后续写倔强父子重新和好（Z20名校联盟-浙江省高三名校联盟第二次联考）讲义-高考英语作文专项

题目JeffandIhadmanyconversationsduringtheyear,butIwillalwaysrememberthetimehetoldmeabouthisfamily.Hisfather,asuccessfulphysician,wascoldandstrictinJeff’swords.HisfatherhadevenpavedthewayforJefftoattendthesamecollegefromwhichhehadgraduated.Jeffwastwentysevenandasuccessfulbusinessplanneratapanywithoutadegree.Hispassionwasskiing.Whenhegraduatedfromhighschool,hedecidedtodeclinehisfather'sofferand,instead,toworkwithaskipatrol(滑雪巡逻队).Withpaininhiseyes,Jefftoldmehestillrememberedthedaywhenhetoldhisfatherhewasgoingtogiveupcollegeandtakeajobataskiresort.HearingJeff’sdecision,hisfatherlookedoffintothedistance.ThencamethewordsthatstillechoedinJeff’smind:“Youlazykid.Nosonofmineisgoingtoworkwithaskipatrolanddoesnotattendcollege.Ishouldhaveknownyou’dneveramounttoanything!”Thetwohadnotspokensincethatconversation.Later,hewasbackintheareanearwherehegrewupandhecertainlydidnotwanthisfathertoknowhewasattendingcollege.Hewasdoingthisforhimself,notforhisfather.Hesaiditoverandoveragain.Jeff’ssisterhadalwaysremainedsupportiveofJeff’sdecisions.Shestayedincontactwiththeirfather,butJeffhadmadeherpromisethatshewouldnotshareanyinformationabouthislifewithhim.Thedaywhenthegraduationceremonycame,Iwalkedaroundtalkingtopeoplebeforeitstarted.Inoticedamanwithaconfusedexpression.“Excuseme,”hesaidashepolitelyapproachedme.“Whatishappeningheretoday?”“It’sgraduationday,”Ireplied,smiling.“Well,that’sodd,”hesaid,“mydaughteraskedmetomeetheratthisaddress.”Hiseyessparkledandhesmiled.“Maybeshepletedherassociate’sdegreeandwantedtosurpriseme!”Ihelpedhimfindaseat.Paragraph1:AsIlefthim,hesaid,“Thankyou.Bytheway,myname’sDr.Holstrom.”Paragraph2:Jeffwasthelastpersontocrossthestage.文本分析：故事大意：Jeff和他的父亲关系疏远，他的父亲是一个成功的医生，对Jeff很冷淡且严格。Jeff没有上大学，而是在一家公司做商业规划，他热爱滑雪。高中毕业后，他决定放弃父亲的提议，去滑雪巡逻队工作。他告诉父亲这个决定后，父亲愤怒地指责他是一个懒惰的孩子，他们自此之后就没有再交流。后来，Jeff回到他成长的地方，并进入大学学习。他反复强调他做这一切是为了自己，而不是为了父亲。Jeff的姐姐一直支持他的决定，并向Jeff保证不向父亲透露Jeff的生活信息。在毕业典礼那天，我遇到了一个表情困惑的男士并帮他找到了座位。段首句1：AsIlefthim,hesaid,“Thankyou.Bytheway,myname’sDr.Holstrom.”段首句2：Jeffwasthelastpersontocrossthestage.矛盾冲突：conflict1:HisfatherhadevenpavedthewayforJefftoattendsamecollegefromwhichhehadgraduated.conflict2:Thetwohadnotspokensincethatconversation.conflict3:Jeffhadmadeherpromisethatshewouldnotshareanyinformationabouthislifewithhim.文本语言简单朴实，以“我”的视角，讲述了Jeff和他父亲的故事，见（听）证了父子之“不和“到”和“的种种事件。本次学生习作问题阐述1.故事构思不合理，人物关系错乱；2.叙述角度过渡聚焦“I“，以至于重心偏离。续写要回答的问题：Para.1AsIlefthim,hesaid,“Thankyou.Bytheway,myname'sDr.Holstrom.WhatdidIdo?OrwhatdidIthink?What'smyreactionwhenIheardthename?HowtoconnectthefirstPara.andthesecondPara?inthegraduationceremonymaybe,thedeanwouldsaysomething.Para.2Jeffwasthelastpersontocrossthestage.WhatdidJeffdo?WouldJeffrecognizehisfatherinthecrowd?thelovebetweenJeffandhisfather.高潮：续写第二段，父子相认Jeffwasthelastpersontocrossthestage.Havingreceivedhisdiploma,heturnedtowardtheaudience,radiantwithjoy.Suddenly,alongfigurepoppedintohiseyesDr.Holstrom.IwasnotsurehowJeffspottedhiminthecrowd,butIcouldtelltheireyesmet.Dr.Holstrom,gazingatJeffthoughtfullyforafewseconds,openedhisarmsasiftoembracetheairaroundhim.Foramomenttimeseemedtostandstill.翻译：杰夫是最后一个跨过舞台的人。拿到毕业证书后，他转向观众，容光焕发。突然，一个长长的身影出现在他的眼睛里——霍尔斯特罗姆医生。我不知道杰夫是怎么在人群中认出他的，但我能看出他们的目光交汇了。霍尔斯托姆医生若有所思地盯着杰夫看了几秒钟，张开双臂，好像要拥抱周围的空气。一时间似乎静止了。主题：重建父子交流主题意义：杰夫与父亲的关系以及它对他人生选择的影响。是追随自己的热情与欲望，还是满足父母的期望和认可之间的斗争。杰夫的父亲对他有很高的期望，希望他上大学并有一个成功的职业，但杰夫选择追求他对滑雪的热情。这个决定导致杰夫和他父亲之间产生了分歧，使他们的关系变得紧张。然而，杰夫的姐姐对他的选择保持支持，并且对他们的父亲隐瞒了杰夫的生活情况。这段文字还突出了个人成长和自我实现的主题，因为杰夫在没有父亲的知情下上大学，并最终毕业，让他的父亲感到惊讶，并改变他们的关系。下水文：ParagraphI:AsIwasleaving,hesaid,“Thankyou.Bytheway,mynameisDrHolstrom.”Notpayingtoomuchattentiontothename,Iwalkedawayandcontinuedtowanderaround,talkingtoothers.However,thename“Holstrom”keptlingeringinmymind.Itsoundedfamiliar,asifIhadhearditmanytimesbefore.Unfortunately,lcouldn'trecallanyspecificdetailsaboutit.Soon,thegraduationceremonybegan,andhurriedtothesideofthestagewithmyfellowclassmates,waitingformyturntocrossthestage.Suddenly,thesoundofsmoothmusicfilledtheair,andthefirstnamewascalled,followedcloselybythenext.Paragraph2:Jeffwasthelastpersontocrossthestage.“JeffHolstrom,thevoiceannounced.Atthatmoment,asparkofrecognitionflashedinmymind.HolstromwasJeff'sfamilyname!ItdawnedonmethatthemanIhadmetearlierwasprobablyJeff'sfather.AsIlookedinthedirectionwherethemanwasseated,IsawamixtureofconfusionandsurpriseonhisfaceashewatchedJeffwalkonstage.However,thoseemotionsquicklytransformedintosheerhappiness,evidentbytheenormoussmileonhisface.Afterthe