外企员工英文辞职报告

第第页外企员工英文辞职报告外企员工英文辞职报告

dear***，

asagraduateofaninstitutionofhighereducation，ihaveafewverybasice*pectations.chiefamongtheseisthatmydirectsuperiorshaveanintellectthatrangesabovethecommongroundsquirrel.afteryourconsistentandannoyingharassmentofmyco-workersandmeduringthecommissionofourduties，icanonlysurmisethatyouareoneofthefewtruegeneticwastesofourtime.

askingme，anetworkadministrator，toe*plaineverylittlenuanceofeverythingidoeachtimeyouhappentostrollintomyofficeisnotonlyawasteoftime，butalsoawasteofpreciouso*ygen.iwashiredbecauseiknowhowtonetworkcomputersystems，andyouwereapparentlyhiredtoprovideamusementtomyselfandotheremployees，whowatchyouvainlyattempttounderstandtheconceptofcutandpasteforthehundredthtime.

youwillneverunderstandcomputers.somethingasincrediblysimpleasbinarystillgivesyoutoomanyoptions.youwillalsoneverunderstandwhypeoplehateyou，butiamgoingtotryande*plainittoyou，eventhoughiamsurethiswillbejustaseffectiveastellingyouwhatanipaddressis.yourshinynewimachasmorepersonalitythanyoueverwill.

youwalkaroundthebuildingallday，shiftlesslylookingforfaultinothers.youhaveasharpdressed，uselesslookaboutyouthatmayhaveworkedforyourinterview，butnowthatyouactuallyhaveresponsibility，youpawnitoffonoverworkedstaff，hopingtheirtalentwillcoverforyourglaringineptitude.inaworldofmanagerialevolution，youaretheblue-greenalgaethateveryoneelseeatsandlaughsat.managerslikeyouareasadproofofthedilbertprinciple.

sincethissituationisunlikelytochangewithoutyougettingafullfrontallobotomyreversal，iamforcedtotendermyresignation.however，ihaveafewpartingthoughts.

1.whensomeonecallsyouinreferencetoemployment，itisillegalforyoutogivemeabadrecommendation.themostyoucansaytohurtmeisiprefernottocomment.iwillhavefriendsrandomlycallyouoverthene*tcoupleofyearstokeepyouhonest，becauseiknowyouwouldbeunabletodoitonyourown.

2.ihaveallthepasswordstoeveryaccountonthesystem，andiknoweverypasswordyouhaveusedforthelastfiveyears.ifyoudecidetogetcute，iamgoingtopublishyourfavoriteslist，whichiconvenientlysavedwhenyoumademebackupyouruselessfiles.idobelievethattermslikelolitaarenotusuallyviewedfavorablybytheadministration.

3.whenyouborrowedthedigitalcameratotakepicturesofyourmothersbirthday，youneglectedtomentionthatyouweregoingtotakepicturesofyourselfinthemirrornude.thenyouforgottoerasethemlikethetechno-moronyoureallyare.sufficeittosayihaveneverseensuchoddactswithasaucebottle，butiassureyouthatthosehavebeencopiedandkeptinsafeplacespendingtheauthoringofaglowingletterofrecommendation.(trytouseaspellcheckplease;ihatehavingtocorrectyourmistakes.)

thankyouforyourtime，andie*pecttheletterofrecommendationonmydeskby8:00amtomorrow.onewordofthistoanybody，andallofyourlittletwistedrepugnantobsessionswillbeopentoth