第四讲　写奇崛-营造“一波三折”情节的3条途径

第四讲写奇崛——营造“一波三折”情节的3条途径“文似看山不喜平”。平铺直叙的故事叙述往往让人打不起精神，心生倦意；而频扔“包袱”、悬念迭出的故事安排，则让人紧追不舍、欲罢不能。我们可通过图示来看一下“一波三折”式故事情节安排的重要性。如何让文章做到起伏有悬念，可采用以下几条途径：(一)增加外部冲突增加外部冲突是一种明显有效的可以达到故事高潮的方式。冲突带来紧迫感，将故事推向顶点。1．角色之间的冲突[示例]

Onthefourthorfifthnight,wehadtroublefindingahotelwithavacancy.Afterdrivinginvainforsometime,Momsuddenlygotagreatidea:Whydidn'twefindahousewithalikely-lookingbackyardandaskifwecouldsetuptentthere?DavidandIbecamenervous.[分析]开车找旅馆——徒劳无功——母亲建议搭帐篷——David和我倍感紧张，心有不悦(母子的观点不一)2．角色与环境之间的冲突[示例]

(2021·浙江1月高考)ItwasonlywhenItriedtoremovemyheadthatIrealizedgettingoutwasgoingtobelessstraightforwardthangettingin.WhenIpulledhard,mynosegotintheway.IgotintoapanicasIpressedfirmlyagainstthetableandmovedmyheadaroundtryingtofindtherightangle,butitwasnouse.“Ican'tgetitout！”Ishouted,myvoicesoundingunnaturallyloudintheenclosedspace.[分析]

我使劲拽，我的鼻子挡住了路——我转动头部试图找合适的角度，但没用——我大喊，声音在封闭的空间里显得异常响亮(我的头部被卡在南瓜里：我与南瓜“大战”)3．形势变得紧急，决策刻不容缓[示例]

(2020·浙江7月高考)Afewminuteslater，thebearheadedbacktoourcamp.Thebearroaredatus,ourfrightenedmouthswideopen.Mymindwasblankinpanic.Ijuststoodthereinadaze.Thebearlaunchedanattacktothefence,roaring.Myhandholdingthecamerabegantoshake.[分析]

熊回到了我们的营地——熊向我们吼叫——我陷入恐慌，头脑一片空白——我站在那里发呆——熊咆哮着向栅栏发起攻击——我握着相机的手开始发抖(此情此景，决策刻不容缓)4．增加意外情节，营造困难境地[示例]

(2021·新高考Ⅰ卷)Thepanwastoohotandthebreadturnedblackwithinseconds.Jennathrewtheburntpieceintothesinkandputintheothersliceofbread.Thistime,sheturneddownthefiresoitcookednicely.ThenJeffnoticedsteamshootingoutofthepotandthelidstartingtoshake.Thenextminute,theporridgeboiledoverandputoutthefire.Jennapanicked.Thankfully,Jeffstayedcalmandturnedoffthegasquickly.Butthestovewasamessnow.JennatoldJefftocleanitupsotheycouldcontinuetocooktherestoftheporridge.ButJeff'shandtouchedthehotburnerandhegaveacryofpain.Jennamadehimputhishandincoldwater.Thenshecaughtthesmellofburning.Ohdear!Thepieceofbreadinthepanhadturnedblackaswell.[分析]

锅太热了，面包几秒钟内就变黑了(障碍1)——粥溢出，把火扑灭了(障碍2)——炉子一片狼藉(障碍3)——杰夫的手碰到了火炉，疼得大叫(障碍4)——锅里的面包又变黑了(障碍5)(二)放大内心冲突放大内心冲突(文中角色的内心斗争)有助于抓住读者的心，让读者感同身受，一步步将读者带入其境、融身其中，有助于制造故事波澜和冲突。[示例1]

(2022·新高考Ⅰ卷)Wesatdownnexttoeachother,butDavidwouldn'tlookatme.Heburiedhisheadinhishands,sobbing.“Doyoufeartheaudiencewilllaughatyou？”askedI.Henoddedandbithislip,tearswellingupinhiseyes.[分析]不看我——埋头抽泣——点头咬唇，热泪盈眶(David渴望参加越野跑比赛，但又极度不自信的内心矛盾得以体现)[示例2]

(2022·浙江1月高考)ThoughIwantedtosharemyideasCSwithhimfully,IfailedtodosoforfearthatIwouldholdhimback.IjustkeptnoddingwhenheaskedmewhetheritisOKtodothiswayorthatway.Ithoughtitwasimpossibletopersuadehimintoacceptingmyviews,soIdidn'twanttowasteourtimetodiscuss.Istartedtowaittoleaveimmediatelywearrivedattheplace,andsodidhe.Ijusthopedthatthepresentationdaycouldcomeearlier.[分析]

想分享观点但害怕犯错——点头附议，不想浪费时间讨论——彼此希望合作结束——我期盼展示的日子快点到来(作者通过直白内心想法的方式，更真实地呈现了自己内心矛盾冲突的逐渐放大：害怕合作——不想合作——期盼合作早点结束)[示例3]

Immediately,anabsolutedarknessruledtheforest.Jane,exhaustedandscared,laydownnearastone,missingherfamilyatadistance.Allthefantasticmemorycrowdedinandshecouldn'thelpcrying,“Hadn'tIquarrelledwithTom,walkedawayandclimbedtothehighplace,Iwouldn'tbetrappedinthisawfulplace,confrontedwiththedangerofdying.”Sheregrettedwithendlessanxiety,andthenbecameasleepwithshiningtearsinhereyes.[分析]

独自行走→夜色渐黑→独处森林→阴森恐怖→后悔莫及(作者通过内心独白的方式，使用“往昔对比＋虚拟语气使用＋旁白描写”的方式将冲突逐渐放大)(三)使用环境描写增加不确定性充分利用环境描写可以起到烘托故事高潮的作用。当故事角色在遇到困难时，我们可以加大笔墨来描写故事环境，以此衬托故事发展，为高潮造势。[示例]

(2021·浙江6月高考)Thepaydayarrivedatlast.Excitementsweptoverme,foritwasthefirsttimeIhadgotpaidformywork.Whilewalkingbackhome,Ifelttheflowersliningthepathlooklikeangels,swayinginthewind,dancinginthesun.Iconceivedmanyplansabouthowtodisposeofmyearnings.Ineededanewfootball...Iintended...Boundingintotheyard,Inoticedmyparentsstandingbesidetheoldtruckwithglumlooks.Irealizedsomethingunpleasanthappened.“Howmuchdowestillneedtopayforanewtruck？”askedmymotheranxiously.[分析]领到第一份工资——心情非常兴奋——不愉快的事情发生(通过描写作者回家路上看到的风景来衬托作者的兴奋心情，同时又反衬了下面不愉快事情的发生，通过对比强化了高潮氛围)(2023·济宁一模)阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。TheRightThingMymotherworkedasahousekeeperandshewasoftengivenusedtoysaswellasmanyothergoodiesbyherclients.MyeldersisterandIalwayslovedsharingtherecycledbooksandboardgamesbroughthomebymybelovedmom,whichweconsideredgreatgiftslifepresentedus.Thelong-awaitedChristmasfinallyapproached.OneDecemberday,anoldmodeltoycararrivedintheloadofgoods.Itwasaslongasmyforearmandtookbothhandstolift.Mysisterdidn'twantit,soitwasallmine.Iimmediatelysetaboutwipingitcleanandpolishingittoabrightcandy-applered.Itturnedouttobeathingofbeauty,andIbecameoverjoyedatpossessingit.Myeldersisterwasamazedatthenewly-polished,refreshingtoycar,withahintofregretandenvyinhereyes.Aswasplanned,ourrelativesfromFrancecametovisitusthatChristmas.Itwasatimewhenthefamilybondgotstrengthened.IsharedtheprizedtoycarwithAlex,myyoungFrenchcousin.Eyesgluedtoit,hefellinlovewiththewonderful,shinyredautomobiletheinstanthesawit.Itwasararemomenttoseehimfeelingsorelievedandhappy.He'dbeenunluckysofarinlife,sufferingsevere,life-threateningillnessesasachild,leavinghimmentallyandphysicallystuckandthefamilystarvedofcash.Ofcourse,suchlovelytoyslikemydearmodelcarwereunreachabledreamsforhim.SeeingAlex'sconsumingthrillbroughtbytheredcar,Iwasseizedbyimmensejoyaswell.ButcontrarytoAlex'sexcitement,avoiceinsidemeconstantlyreminded,“Watchout!He'dkeepitforhimself.”，whichgotmefaintlyworried.Ifollowedmycousinforfearofsomething.MymotheralsonoticedAlex'sfondnessforthecar.Approachingme,sheaskedgentlyinalowvoice,“WouldyouliketogiveittoAlex？”注意：1.续写词数应为150左右；2．请按如下格式作答。Giving

or

keeping?

I

struggled

with

myself.

In

the

moment

of

parting,my

model

car

went

with

Alex.

参考范文：Giving

or

keeping?

I

struggled

with

myself.Givingit?HardlycouldIimaginelifewithoutthemodelcar!Afterall,itwasmymostprecioustreasure,whichIhadbeenproudof.Myheartkeptachingattheprospectofgivingitaway.Nope!Ishookmyheaddeterminedly.Glancingatmymother'sexpectante