摩登家庭第一季第24集剧本英语学习

1、摩登家庭第1季第24集Claire :Oh, honey,have a great time at the game!Phil :Thanks.Claire :Mwa! Why are you. crunching?Phil :Ordinarily, Im a rule follower, but when someone tells me I cant bring my own snacks into their stadium, thats when I get a little nuts. Its a free country, right? Lets just say it ruffl

2、es me. .when some goobers. tell me I have to spend half my payday.On their hot dogs.Claire :Please, just remember the family portrait. We only have the photographer for an hour.Phil :Okay.Claire :Okay? And, sweetie, did you have a chance to try on the white pants I put in your closet?Phil :Oh, what

3、do they look like?Claire :Is there really a more clear way to describe white pants? Sweetie, if they dont fit you, youre gonna be the only one not wearing white, and then youre gonna stand out like wheres Waldo?Phil :Actually, wheres Waldo? doesnt stand out. Hes super hard to find. Thats the challen

4、ge.Claire :This portrait is incredibly important to me.Phil :Also, his name is just Waldo. Sorry.Claire :I spent weeks trying to find a time that works for everybody and finding the right photographer. So if you could just promise me that youll cooperate, okay?Phil :I promise.Claire :Okay.Phil :This

5、 is amazing that youre doing this.Claire :Mm, thank you.Phil :Youre wonderful.Claire :Thank you.Phil :Get in here.Claire :Okay.Phil :Oh, no can do.Claire :Oh. Oh.Phil :I love you.Claire :Bye.Jay :Wheres my good underwear?Gloria :The question is, why isnt all your underwear good, Jay? You make a nice

6、 living!Jay :The new maid keeps mixing up my underwear with Mannys. Put on the first thing I grabbed. It was like a crotch tourniquet. You got to talk to her.Gloria :Why me?Jay :Hola. You both speak the same language.Gloria :Shes Portuguese. Do you know how offensive it is that you put all of us in

7、the same mixing pot?Jay :Im sorry. Please apologize to her when you tell her not to put my underwear.Gloria :I cant talk to her!Jay :Hey, guys.Phil :Hey!Jay :Wheres Luke?Alex :Im going instead.Phil :Luke suddenly remembered a school project due tomorrow.Jay :Oh, thats tough. But its a good lesson fo

8、r the kid. You know, you made a commitment, you got to follow through.Phil :Yeah.Gloria :What is the project?Phil :Uh, he has to interview somebody who lived through the 1960s.Jay :Oh, no. Hello. Yeah, Luke. Oh, sure, I remember what I said. Yeah, come on over. All right. Gloria, youre gonna have to

9、 take Manny to the game.Gloria :Yay. Manny, vamos!Manny :Im still getting dressed! Hey, mom! I think my diets working! My underwear wont stay up!Mitchell :Oh, so delicious. Yes. Hey, youre okay with me not going with you today, right?Cameron :I have been hired to sing at a wedding this weekend. I wa

10、s plucked from obscurity after a particularly stirring karaoke performance. So I guess you could say Im a professional singer now.Mitchell :I dont know. Well, theyre paying you in flowers, so.Cameron :Well, I would have blown the money on flowers anyway. Theyre saving me a step. Plus, all the great

11、divas are rewarded in flowers.Mitchell :Theyre also given paychecks.Mitchell :Its just, Im really bad at small talk, so.Cameron :I get it. Its not a problem.Mitchell :Are you sure? Because youve been quiet all morning.Cameron :Its because Im resting my instrument.Mitchell :Okay. I feel tension.Every

12、one :Kobe!Phil :Hey, what can I do for you? Do you like being a basketball.Player?Kobe :You serious?Phil :I choked. I didnt think youd look up here, at me.Kobe :Little preparation next time. Its a mental game.Phil :Dually noted.Haley :Whats wrong?Claire :That broken step. Its gonna ruin our whole fa

13、mily portrait.Claire :Okay, heres my idea. Im really excited about it. The whole extended family, all dressed in white, in a single-file line down the staircase.Phil :Oh, like a line on the highway.Claire :No.Phil :Or a-a ski jump.Claire :No. Why. why would I want a ski jump?Phil :I dont know. My id

14、ea was to have the whole family on a giant bed like in Willy Wonka.Claire :Yeah, but thats ridiculous.Phil :Ridicu-licious.Haley :I dont see anything.Claire :So Im crazy?Haley :No! Youre.not.Claire :Your father was supposed to fix that step.Haley :Mom, youre obsessing over the tiniest little thing.C

15、laire :So you do see it.Haley :Yeah. What is the big deal about this one picture?Claire :Honey, you know what? I dont expect you to understand. But all right. When youre a mom, everything goes by so quickly. in a minute, Lukes gonna be shaving, And Alex is gonna be off at college, And. and youre gon

16、na be. youre gonna be doing something great. Just want to freeze this moment as it is right now. You know?Haley :I do. I know I dont show it, but this familys still the most important thing that I. screw it.Claire :Im gonna fix the bastard. I mean, seriously, how hard can it be? If your father can d

17、o it, I can do it, right? All right. I just need to. like, lift.Haley :Oh. Now I see it.Claire :Uh-huh. Mm-hmm.Phil :These seats are amazing!Gloria :Why you have candy coming out of your pants?Phil :No, no, no, no, no, no, no.Gloria :Huh?Phil :I brought my own snacks. Not because Im cheap. Its. Plus

18、, I get a little rush from the danger. Be cool! Be cool! Be cool! Just look straight ahead. Ive never felt more alive. Whoo!Claire :Okay, I just made it worse. Im not freaking out, though. Im gonna call your dad, And hes gonna tell me how to fix this.Haley :Oh, my God, its dadClaire :Where?Haley :Ri

19、ght there, behind Kobe!Claire :Oh!Haley :Oh, how weird is this?Claire :Quick. Quick. Tell me something to say thatll freak him out.Haley :Tell him Im pregnant!Claire :No, Im not gonna say that. Okay, here we go. How funny is this?Phil :Hey, its Phil. You know what to do.Haley :Well, that was pretty

20、funny.Mitchell :Oh, my God! Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Ohh. Ohh. Ohh. Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh!Cameron :Excuse me. Excuse me. Sorry for that. Hello?Mitchell :There is a pigeon in our house! What do I do? What do I do?Cameron :Who is this?Mit

21、chell :Never funny. Not funny now.Cameron :Calm down. You know, I grew up around many animals. One time, a rooster attacked me, and my mom wrung its neck, and we had it for dinner.Mitchell :Great time for an anecdote. Help me!Cameron :Its more afraid of you than you are of it.Mitchell :Pigeons arent

22、 scared of anything. They stand on electrical wires.Cameron :Youre gonna be fine, Mitchell. You know what? Just as long as you dont. Oh, you know what? Theyre starting. I got to go. Okay. Bye.Mitchell :As long as I dont what?! Cam, as long as I dont. Oh!Manny :Ooh, the kiss Cam! Wouldnt it be embarr

23、assing if the camera was on us and then the crowd started.Alex :Were related.Manny :Not by blood.Alex :Touch me, and there will be blood.Phil :Not us.Gloria :Whats wrong with you?Phil :Its the kiss-cam. When it lands on you, youre supposed to kiss. Its my wifes dads second wife, so, legally okay, bu

24、t still weird. That was awkward. And.were back.Gloria :Ay, come on. Its not a big deal.Claire :Thank God for caller I.D. So you dont have to talk to your wife. Oh, were gonna talk, mister. Were gonna talk and talk.Alex :Dad! Mom saw you on TV! Youre dead.Phil :Heres the thing. The kiss-cam is only s

25、upposed to be for the enjoyment of the people at the game! They never show that on TV. What people do in the privacy of their own sports arena should be their own business.Jay :So, in 66, I worked at my grandfathers office-supply business. You know, your ink, your staples, your legal pads. Am I goin

26、g too fast for you?Luke :I fell asleep for second. Did you do anything interesting in the 60s?Jay :Well, one summer, I swept up hair at my other grandfathers barber shop.Luke :Ugh, youre killing me!Jay :What do you want?Luke :I dont know. Brian Beckwiths grandfather marched on Washington.Jay :Artie

27、Beckwith? He couldnt walk two feet without complaining. He marched on Washington?Luke :He told Brian he did. With Martin Luther king Jr.Jay :Martin Luther king? Guess who cut his hair.Luke :What?Jay :Do you know who cut Martin Luther king Jr.s hair? Neither does Lukes teacher.Luke :So, the barber sh

28、op was in Washington?Jay :Okay.Luke :Did you cut any other famous hair?Jay :Oh, yeah, the Kennedys, Richard Nixon, All the astronauts. How do you think buzz Aldrin got his nickname?Luke :Awesome.Mitchell :*we love to play in Lilys room, we dont need any milk.* Okay, you know what, Lily? I am a man.

29、I am going into the kitchen to get your milk. Whaaaaaaaaa! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Ohh!Cameron :*Ave Maria. Gratia plena. Maria, Gratia plena. Maria, Gratia plena. ave, ave Dominus. Dominus tecum. Benedicta tu in mulieribus et benedictus fructus ventris ventris tui, Jesus, ave Maria*Jay :Then one day, W

30、ilt Chamberlain shows up. He says, Can you take a little off the top for my friend here? And its Elvis.Luke :No way.Jay :Greatest singer that ever lived. after Sinatra. Ill fight any man who says different.Luke :My dad says the greatest singer who ever lived is Peabo Bryson.Jay :Then I guess I got t

31、o fight your dad.Luke :Yeah. I guess.Alex :Luke says grandpa wants to fight you.Claire :Why does everything have to suck?!Haley :Lets just do the picture another day. I think Im getting a pimple.Claire :No! Do you know how long it took me to book this photographer? Maybe by the fireplace.Haley :Yeah

32、. Thats a classic old-person spot for a portrait.Claire :Yeah, if Id ever bothered to paint that hideous Wall.Phil :Claire is a perfectionist, Which sometimes is a good thing, Like when it comes to picking a husband. Sometime its a bad thing, Like when, uh, everyone else sees something beautiful, An

33、d all she sees is the teeny, tiny flaw.Claire :No. No. No. Hi. My house is a disaster. Can we do this picture at your place?Mitchell :Yeah, yeah, thats. thats not gonna work.Claire :Maybe one more layer. and tight, really tight. Dad, can you call them again?Jay :I just did. Theyre on their way. Game

34、 went into overtime.Claire :I know, but were losing the light, And the photographer has got to get to a bar mitzvah in 10 minutes. Oh, red wine. Really? Now?Jay :You know, honey, I think youre getting a little too uptight about this.Claire :Mm-hmm.Luke :Its hard to breathe. Oh, youre fine.Jay :Whatd

35、 you do to him? Hes turning blue.Claire :Yeah, but his clothes will stay white.Gloria :Were home!Claire :Oh, thank God!Phil :Hello!Gloria :Manny, lets go change. Mwah!Jay : Hey. Theres my beautiful wife.Phil : I know youre mad at me, and I know this foam finger cant map for everything.Claire :Honey,

36、 you just go change, and well talk about what you did later.Phil :Okay. Hey. Thank you so much for those tickets.Jay :Gloria tells me you had a real good time.Phil :Not really. No, I didnt. God, I love your daughter. Ohh! I should. I should come by and kiss that step. fix that step.Mitchell :Ugh, yo

37、ure acting like I wanted to destroy the house.Cameron :No, I just think its odd that the majority of things you destroyed were sent to us by my mom.Mitchell :Oh, okay, okay, okay, So while Im fighting off that filthy creature, I actually stop and say, oh, you know what? Heres the opportunity Ive alw

38、ays been looking for To destroy our kitschiest objects.Cameron :kitschiest? Oh, shes gonna love that. You know, if you would have just come with me to the wedding, none of this would have happened.Mitchell :Okay, so you are angry.Cameron :Mitchell, I get it. Youre terrified of small talk.and birds.

39、Youre just lucky that pigeon didnt want to chat you up about the weather. Hello, Jay.Jay :Hello, guys.Claire :Oh, God! Oh, you look like the guy from dance fever!Phil :Thank you.Jay :Deney Terrio. Cleveland, Ohio.Claire :Dad, really. That is not a compliment. Thats why I wanted you to try those on e

40、arlier. Turn around.Haley :The picture cant happen today. My pimples getting worse.Claire :Oh, honey, I am so sorry. Can you stand?Haley :Yeah?Claire :Well, then, the pictures happening.Haley :Its all anybodys gonna see!Claire :I wouldnt be so sure about that. Did you get a look at her dress?Phil :W

41、hat?! Why would I look at her dress? I love you!Photographer :Uh, Mrs. Dunphy. The sun is setting.Claire :Oh, okay, yeah, this is happening. Everybody, come on, lets go.Jay :Hold it. Be careful. I stained some furniture out there this afternoon.Claire :Of course you did, dad. Anything else I need to

42、 know about? Maybe the neighbors on either side are having a paintball fight. Now, watch this. Dad, in his infinite wisdom, stained furniture today. Dont touch it. Its wet. Hurry, hurry!Phil :Put that down, sweetheart.Claire :Okay, okay, we got it. Now were gonna go out here. Were ready. Oh, my God!

43、 Are you kidding me?!Jay :Ay. All right, how do you. How do you turn the sprinklers off?Gloria :Ay, of course, because Im Latina, Im supposed to know everything about gardening and sprinklers!Jay :You were here when they installed it!Gloria :Ay, yeah. Ay. The box is across the yard.Claire :You mean

44、the now-soaking-wet yard? Thats great. We are screwed.Phil :No, were not. We havent unwrapped our secret weapon yet. Luke walks over there, hurt locker-style, Flips the switch, and boom!. Or, not boom. water off. Put the he in hero, son.Claire :Ohh.Cameron :hurt locker. Its. its more like squirt loc

45、ker. Really? That wasnt funny? I actually pity you guys.Claire :No! No time to celebrate! Stop it! We dont have a lot of time.Photographer :All right, everybody, if I can have the little ones out front.Claire :You know what, sir? If you dont mind. Ive got this. Come on, people. Lets get out here. Ha

46、ley, Alex, I need you to unwrap your brother, all right? I need the Dunphys over on this side. Dad, youre in the middle. Mitchell, Cam, Lily on this end.Phil :Okay. Listen.Claire :Uh-huh?Phil :I know I screwed up, But if ever youre in my arms again.Claire :Phil, not now.Phil :Yes, now! I dont want t

47、o look at this picture when Im 80 years old and youre long dead and know that you were angry at me When we took it!Claire :Phil, well talk about what you did later.Photographer :Okay, everybody. Eyes over here.Phil :I didnt do anything. She kissed me.Claire :What?! Who kissed you?Phil :Gloria.Jay :W

48、hat?!Gloria :It was the kiss-cam.Jay :Why did you kiss Cam?Gloria :No, I kissed Phil. He told me I had to.Phil :No. No.Claire :Okay. Hang on a second. Was this before or after you ignored the phone call from your wife?Phil :You saw that, too?!Claire :Mm.Jay :Could we please just take the damn pictur

49、e?!Photographer :Okay, everybody, one more time.Cameron :Just so you know, I am angry with you.Mitchell :I knew it!Claire :Oh, damn it!Cameron :It was a big day for me, and he didnt to go because he doesnt like small talk!Claire :Would it be terribly inconvenient to just postpone this hissy fit for

50、a few minutes?Mitchell :Okay, you know what?! Maybe some of us dont want to take a picture today!Haley :Thank you!Cameron :Yeah, and, please, Claire, dont try to make Mitchell do something he doesnt want to do.Mitchell :Oh, shut up, Cam!Claire :Okay, stop it! Stop it! Everyone! Listen, this took me

51、forever to put together, So I dont really care who kissed who and whos got a pimple on her head, And who is wearing an outrageously inappropriate dress! We are gonna get together and act like a normal family for 1/10 of a freaking second, and were gonna do it right now. Come on, lets go.Mitchell :Get your hands off or me!Claire :No. No, make me. Make me. Make me.Jay :Oh, this is ridiculous! Youre both uptight about everything! You didnt want to go to a wedding with him because you didnt want to make small talk? Thats how I met Gloria. Do you remember