英语新概念教学材料

1、1 / 11JokeA Woman in the barA woman in the bar wants to do the plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. Her husband tells her,“Hey, you don t need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery.”The lady asks, “How doI do it without surgery? ”“Just rub toilet paper between them. ”“How dose t

2、hat make them bigger? ”“I dont know, but it worked for your ass! ”新概念英语二册 barHairdresserHairdresser: “Did you have ketchup with your lunch, sir? ”Custom:“No I didn t. ”Hairdresser: “In that case （既然如此） , I have slipped with the razor. ”新概念三册 case.A: Lend me fiftyB: I have only fortyA: Well, then let

3、 me have the forty and you can owe me the ten._ 新概念二册 L3Examining the X ray, the doctor said, “Not a thing to worry about. You should lived to be ninety. ” “ButDoctor, ”the patient said, “Iam ninety. ”“See?I was right! the”doctor said._ 新概念一册 L103 exam 或者是 L63 看病Young Woman: Look! Here is a magazine

4、 that tells how to take five years off your face.Old Woman: Good! I ll take two of them._ 新概念一册 L127 讨论年龄问题作为背景笑话RequestA murderer, sitting in the electric chair, would be killed.“Have you any last requests?”asked thepoliceman. “Yes,”replied the murderer. “Will you hold my hand? ”_ 新概念二册 Lesson 5 re

5、questOne businessman asked another, “Is your advertising getting results?”“It sure is,”replied his friend.2 / 11“Last week we advertised for a night guard. The next night we were robbed.”_Lesson 7 guard and robBoxerDuring the fight, the boxer swiped the air furiously, but couldn t hit his opponent.

6、“How am I doing? ”heasked his coach at the end of the round. “Well, if you keep this up, ”replied the coach, “he might fee thewind and catch a cold. ”_新概念三册John asked his mother for one dollar.“What are you going to do the money?”“Iam going to give it to a poorman,”he answered.“You are a good boy,”s

7、aid the mother proudly.“Here you are, but why are you sointerested in the old man?”“He is the man who sells ice cream.”_Lesson 121 定语从句Public school 在英国和美国是不一样的， 在美国，人们把 public school 认为是公立中学， private school是私立中学。而英国人却认为 public 是大众的意思， public school 是老百姓自 己创立的学校，是私立中学。_新概念第二册 Lesson 1 private public

8、A: I found a pretty girl.B: You are telling me你早就告诉我了_新概念第二册 第二课 现在进行时A: How is the girl?B: I don t think much of it我对他印象不太好_新概念一册 thinkIt will be all right on the night祝你一切顺利为什么是在晚上呢？是 all right on the night 是以前演出时导演、 和演员之间常说的一句安慰 的话，因为旧时的戏剧表演通常是在晚上举行， 于是就有了 on the night 的说话。 后来， 该语被引申为中宽泛的勉励，表示“一切

9、都会好起来” 。_ 新概念二册 Lesson17Show sb to the door. 将某人赶出去_ 新概念一册 海关 passportA bird in the hand is worth two in the bush 一鸟在手，胜过两鸟在林_新概念一册 it is worth every penny3 / 11A GOOD CAT DESERVES A GOOD RAT 好猫该得好老鼠_ 新概念二册 Lesson11A lazy sheep think his wool heavy. 懒羊嫌毛重_ 新概念一册 wool A thief knows a thief , as awolf

10、 knows a wolf.贼了解贼， 正如狼了解狼。_ 新概念二册 Lesson7As well be hanged for a sheep as a lamb 偷大羊和偷小羊同样被处死。 （一不做二不休）Give a dog a bad name and hang him. 欲加之罪，何患无词_新概念二册 Lesson26 hang）Fat hens lay few eggs. 肥鸡不下蛋_新概念二册 L49 lieStupid BirdsWhy do birds fly south for the winter?the answer is:Because its too far to w

11、alk!_ 新概念一册tooto 句型两个男人在纽约的一个酒馆里喝酒。他们已经喝了很多 Whisky. 他们其中一个人对另一个人 说，So whereare you from, then?Im from Ireland.Me too! Ill drink to that. 他们喝完了又要了两杯。 .Where in Ireland are you from?Dublin.Me too! Ill drink to that. 他们喝完了又要了两杯 .Where in Dublin are you from?The East Side.The East Side? Me too! What a c

12、oincidence! Ill drink to that! 他们两喝完了又要了两杯。 Where on theEast Side are you from?McDonagh Street.Me too! This is incredible! Ill drink to that.当两个人又喝完了后 , 旁边的另一位顾客对招待员说到， Thats amazing! I cant believe theyre from thesame street in Dublin. Whats going on?“哦， 没有什么惊讶的，只不过是两个来自爱尔兰的孪生兄弟又喝醉了4 / 11_新概念一册 Whe

13、re are you fromMad CowsTwo cows were talking in the field. One cow says, Have you heard about the Mad Cowdisease thats going around?The other cow answers, Yeah, makes you glad youre a penguin, doesnt it?新概念Lesson21Milking itA woman and a baby were in the doctor examining room, waiting for the doctor

14、 to comein.The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight and found it somewhat belownormal. The doctor asked if the baby was breast fed or bottle fed.“Breast fed? th”e woman replied.well, strip down to your waist,? the doctor asked. She did. He pressed, kneaded, rolled,cupped, and pinche

15、d both breasts in a detailed, rigorously thorough examination.Motioning for her to get dressed he said,“No wonder this baby is under weight! You donthave any milk.?”I know,? she said, I am his grandmother, but Im glad I came.?Neighbour: I hearda big noise in front of your house last night. What happ

16、enedto you?Husband: it was nothing. My wife was a bit cross, and threw my overcoat out of thewindow.Neighbour: your overcoat? But how could it make such a noise?Husba nd: I-ha ppe nedto be in side the coat._新概念二册 第三课 一般过去时Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by

17、 accident.He showed the whites of his eyes andseemedto have ceased breathing. The other huntersoon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator saidcalmly, First, you should make sure that he is already dead. Then the operator heard agunshot from the other end of the

18、 phone and next he heard thehunter asking, What should I do next?两个猎人进森林里打猎，其中一个猎人不慎跌倒，两眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。另 一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。接线员沉着地说： “第一步，要先确 定你的朋友已经死亡。 ”5 / 11于是，接线员在电话里听到一声枪响，然后听到那猎人 接着问：“第二步怎办？”Your future depends on your dreams. So go to sleep.现在的梦想决定着你的将来,所以还是再睡一会吧.没关系的十种用法1Thats OK!沒關係！2. Thats alright沒關係！3. Dont worry about it!不用擔心！4. Its nothi ng!沒什麼！5. Never mi nd!別放在心上！6. It does nt matter無所謂!7. It does nt make any differe nee沒 差!8. No problem!沒