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1、英语美文:尽在不言中When I read a book from my mother 's shelves, it 's not unusual to come across a gap in the text. A paragraph, or maybe just a sentence, has been sliced out, leaving a window in its place, with words from the next page peeping through. The chopped up page looks like a nearly comple
2、te jigsaw puzzle waiting for its missing piece. But the piece isn'tlost, and I always know where to find it. Dozens of quotations, clipped from newspapers, magazines and books plaster one wall of my mother's kitchen. What means th e mostto my mother in her books she excises and displays.当我翻看
3、妈妈书架上的书时,常常会发现其中的文字缺了一部分。其 中的一个段落,或可能仅仅一个句子,被剪了下来,在原来的位置上 留下了一扇窗户,让后一页上的文字探头探脑地露了出来。被挖掉一 块的那一页看上去就像是一幅几乎就要完成的拼图作品,等待着缺失 的那一块拼图。但那一块拼图并没有丢,而且我总是知道在哪儿能找 到它。在我妈妈的厨房里,从报纸上、杂志上还有书上剪下 的纸片贴满了一面墙。在她的书里,那些她最喜欢的句子和段落都被 她剪了下来,贴在墙上。I ' ve never told her, but those literary amputations appall me. I know Ann
4、Patchett and Dorothy Sayers, and Somerset Maugham would fume alongside me, their careful prose severed from its rightful place. She picks extracts that startle me, too : “Put your worst foot forward, because then if people can still stand you, you can be yourself.” Sometimes I standreading the wall
5、of quotations, holding a scissors-victimnovel in my hand, puzzling over what draws my mother to these particular words.我从未当面和她说过,但她对文学作品的这种“截肢手术”的确让我 感到震惊。我知道,安帕契特、多萝西塞耶斯和萨默塞特毛姆也在我 身旁气得冒烟呢,怎么能把这些他们呕心沥血写出来的文字就这样从 它们原来的位置上“截肢”了呢!她挑出来的那些段落也着实吓了我 一跳,比如:“以你最糟糕的一面示人,因为如果那样人们也能容忍 你的话,你就能做真正的自己了。”有时候,我会站在那儿
6、读墙上那 些书摘,手里拿着一本备受剪刀“ * ”的小说,心里充满困惑,不知道 到底是什么驱使妈妈剪下了这样一些稀奇古怪的句子。My own quotation collection is more hidden and delicate. I copy favorite lines into a spiral-bound journal-a Christmas present from my mother, actuallyin soft, gray No. 2 pencil.This means my books remain whole. The labor required makes
7、selection a cutthroat process : Do I really love these two pages of On Chesil Beach enough to transc ribe them, word by finger-cramping word? (The answer was yes, the pages were that exquisite.)我也摘录和收藏文字,不过我的收藏更为隐秘和精致。我会用灰色的 二号软芯铅笔把我最喜欢的句子摘抄到一个活页日记本里事实上, 这还是我妈妈送我的一份圣诞礼物呢。也就是说,我的书都是完整的。 但因为摘抄需要工夫,所以选
8、择哪些文字摘抄就成了一个痛苦的过程: 我是不是真的喜欢在切瑟尔海滩上里的这两页文字?喜欢到我愿 意一个字一个字地把它们抄下来,直抄到手指头都抽筋?(答案为 “是”,因为这两页文字写得实在太美了。)My mother doesn ' t know any of this. She doesn' t know Iprefer copying out to cutting out. I've never told her thatI compile quotations at all.我妈妈一点也不知道这件事。她不知道与剪贴相比,我更喜欢抄录。 我压根就没告诉过她我也收集自己
9、喜欢的文字。There's nothing very shocking about that; for all our chatting, we don 't have the words to begin certain conversations. My mother and I talk on the phone at least once a week, and in some ways, we are each other 's most dedicated listener. She tells me about teaching English to th
10、e leathery Russian ladies at the library where she volunteers; I tell her about job applications, cover letters, and a grant I 'd like to win. We talk about my siblings, her siblings, the president, and Philip Seymour Hoffman movies. We make each other laugh so hard that I choke and she cries. B
11、ut what we don 't say could fill up rooms. Fights with my father. Small failures in school. Anything, really, that pierces us.其实这个点没什么值得大惊小怪的;即使我们总是聊天,但对于某些 特定的话题,我们总是不知道该怎么开口。妈妈和我一个星期至少会 通一次电话,从某些方面来说 ,我们是对方最专心的听众。她会告诉我 她在图书馆做志愿者教那些强悍的俄罗斯妇女英语时发生的事;而我 会和她谈谈我找工作的事、我的求职信,还有我想要争取的补助什么 的。我们会聊我的兄弟姐妹、
12、她的兄弟姐妹、总统,还有菲利普塞默 霍夫曼的电影。我们常常逗得对方大笑,笑得我喘不过气来,笑得她 眼泪都流出来了。但我们不聊的东西也很多,多得几个房间都装不下。 譬如她和我爸吵架了,又譬如我在学校遇到一些小挫折了。事实上, 所有让我们伤心的事,我们都避而不谈。I like to say that my mother has never told me“I love you.There's something reassuring in its self-pityingsimplicity as if the three-word absence explains who I am an
13、d wins me sympathy-so I carry it with me, like a label onmy back. I synthesize our cumbersome relationship with aneasy shorthand : my mother never said “I love you ”. The last time my mother almost spoke the words was two years ago, when she called to tell me that a friend had been hospitalized.我常常说
14、,妈妈从来没和我说过“我爱你”。这句有点自怜的简单话 语听起来颇有些自我安慰的味道仿佛这三个字的缺失就为我为什 么成为现在的我提供了借口,还为我赢得了同情于是,我总是把 这句话挂在嘴边,就像把它贴在背上当标签一样。对于我和妈妈之间 的这种微妙关系,我总是简单地用一句“谁让她从来不说我爱你'” 来总结。上一次妈妈差点说出这几个字是在两年前,当时她给我打电 话,告诉我她有个朋友住院了。I said, “ I love you, Mom. ” She said, “Thank you. ” I haven't said it since, but I've thought a
15、bout it, and I'vewondered why my mother doesn 't. A couple of years ago, I found a poem by Robert Hershon called“Sentimental Moment orWhy Did the Baguette Cross the Road? ” that supplied words for the blank spaces I try to understand in our conversations我对她说:“我爱你,妈妈。” 而她说:“谢谢。” 这件事后来我 再没提过,但
16、却始终在我的脑海里盘旋不去,我一直想知道为什么我 妈妈从来不说这几个字。几年前,我读到罗伯特赫尔希写的一首诗, 诗名叫感伤的时刻或面包为什么要过马路?,这首诗填补了我和 妈妈的对话中很多我不能理解的空白:Don't fill up on bread. I say absent-mindedly. The servingshere are huge. My son, whose hair may be receding a bit, says Did you really just say that to me? What he doesn' t knowisthat when
17、we 're walking together, when we get to the curb. I sometimes start to reachfor his hand.别用面包把肚子塞满了。我心不在焉地说。这儿的菜量大得很,我的 儿子,我那发线已开始后退少许的儿子,对我说:你怎么会跟我说这 样的话?他不知道的是当我们一起散步时,当我们走到马路边时,我 有时会不自觉地伸出手想要去牵他的手。It 's a humble poem, small in scope, not the stuff of epic heartbreak, yet poignant. After c
18、opying it down in my quotation journal, my wrist smudging the pencil into a gray haze as I wrote, I opened an e-mail I had begun to my mother, and added a posts cript : “This poem made me think of you, with the 13 lines cut and pasted below. My mother doesn'tread poetry or at least, she doesn
19、9;t tell me that she readspoetry- and I felt nervous clicking,“Send” .这是一首朴实无华的小诗,篇幅不长,不是动人心魄的宏伟诗篇,但 读了却让人感到有点心酸。我把它抄在了我的书摘日记本里,写的时 候,手腕把灰色的铅笔字迹都蹭模糊了。然后,我打开一封写给妈妈 的电子邮件,信已经开了头,我在后面加上了附言:“这首诗让我想 起了你。”然后,我在电脑上把这首 13行诗剪切下来,粘贴在了邮件 下面。我妈妈从来不读诗或至少她从没告诉过我她读诗所以, 点下“发送”键时,我感到心中隐隐的紧张和不安。She never mentioned the poem. But the next time I went home for va
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