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1、 With a giant tear in her eye, the little girl looked up at him. She forced a smile, saying“Thank you” and walked towards the door.Pappy thought of his daughter and said to the girl loudly, “How much have you got to spend?” Hearing this, the little girl counted money in her purse-two dollars. After
2、thinking for a few seconds, Pappy said,“Today is Christmas Day and this is your lucky day. The bell costs two dollars.” The child went out, holding the special bell in her hand.Grade the story 第1页/共28页 Later that evening when Pappy was closing up the shop, he heard a familiar ringing. He couldnt bel
3、ieve his ears. The girl stood in the doorway, ringing the bell happily. Then Pappy got close to her and asked, “Have you changed your mind, Miss?” “ No. My Momma says the present is for you.” said the child. Before Pappy had time to say another word, a young woman walked in. She said to Pappy, “Hell
4、o, Dad.”第2页/共28页How to polish your story?第3页/共28页润色文章的技巧 技 巧1. 使用较高级的词汇2. 使用较丰富的句式3. 使用恰当的连接词proper conjunctionsabundant sentence patterns advanced words and phrases第4页/共28页How to polish your words? “小”心思丰满人物内心 Inner thoughts to portray the figures “小”词汇增加表达效果 Detailed verbs to make expressions powe
5、rful “小”细节丰富故事情节 Proper adv to enrich your story 第5页/共28页Tip1:“小”心思丰满人物内心悲伤快乐2016年10月高考作文 23分第6页/共28页Tip1:“小”心思丰满人物内心震惊2017年6月高考作文 23分第7页/共28页 One day, the Brother, who had become a Monk, forced himself on the same road where he found accommodation years ago. He decided to visit the family. But the
6、shabby cottage was nowhere to be found. He only found a splendid house. He thought the family might die. Suddenly, a man came out. The monk recognized him. It was the father of the family. So he asked, “ Have you lived here?”Tip1:“小”心思丰满人物内心第8页/共28页 One day, the Brother, who had become a Monk, force
7、d himself on the same road where he found accommodation years ago. Driven by a sense of regret, he decided to visit the family. To his great surprise, the shabby cottage was nowhere to be found. He only found a splendid house. Upon thinking the family might have starved to death, he sighed with guil
8、t. Suddenly, a man came out. The monk recognized him. It was the father of the family. So he asked, “ Have you lived here?”Tip1:“小”心思丰满人物内心第9页/共28页Lets compare! He decided to visit the family. But the shabby cottage was nowhere to be found. He only found a splendid house. He thought the family might
9、 die. Driven by a sense of regret, he decided to visit the family. To his great surprise, the shabby cottage was nowhere to be found. He only found a splendid house. Upon thinking the family might have starved to death, he sighed with guilt. In conclusion,the description of inner thoughts can make o
10、ur story more logical, reasonable, creative and powerful.第10页/共28页How to describe your inner feelings?1. Feeling happy/sad/angry/guilty/depressed,2. Driven by curiosity/a sense of regret/sympathy.或者是 Deeply touched/ moved by3. ., full of regret/anger/fear/gratitude/sadness4. To ones disappointment/s
11、urprise/delight/relief/ astonishment5. in surprise/relief/anger 或者是with satisfaction/excitement(等于一个副词)6. 具体的动作描写 stand frozen, jump with joy, tremble with anger, with tears filling ones eyes, with ones eyes wide open 等等第11页/共28页Lets have a try! 1. Pappy said to the girl, “How much have you got to s
12、pend?” Driven by a sense of sympathy, Pappy said to the girl, “How much have you got to spend?” 2. The child walked out, holding the special bell in her hands. The child went out with great joy, holding the special bell in her hands.第12页/共28页 3. Then Pappy got close to her and asked, “Have you chang
13、ed your mind, Miss?” Feeling puzzled, Pappy got close to her and asked, “Have you changed your mind, Miss?” 4. She said to Pappy, “Hello, Dad.” With tears filling her eyes, she said to Pappy cheerfully, “Hello, Dad.”第13页/共28页 With a giant tear in her eye, the little girl looked up at him. She forced
14、 a smile, saying “Thank you” and walked towards the door.Pappy thought of his daughter . Driven by a sense of sympathy, Pappy said to the girl loudly, “How much have you got to spend?” Hearing this, the little girl counted money in her purse-two dollars. After thinking for a few seconds, Pappy said,
15、 “Today is Christmas Day and this is your lucky day. The bell costs two dollars.” The child went out with great joy, holding the special bell in her hand.第14页/共28页 Later that evening when Pappy was closing up the shop, he heard a familiar ringing. He couldnt believe his ears. The girl stood in the d
16、oorway, ringing the bell happily. Feeling puzzled, Pappy got close to her and asked, “Have you changed your mind, Miss?” “ No. My Momma says the present is for you.” said the child. Before Pappy had time to say another word, a young woman walked in. Tears filling her eyes, she said to Pappy cheerful
17、ly, “Hello, Dad.”第15页/共28页Tip 2:“小”词汇增加表达效果Brainstorming:tell saywhisper murmur speaktalk cry out shout respond reply explain scream roar announce declare yell call out 第16页/共28页 The government _ a state of emergency. “Get out of my house!” The officer _. He _ something in his sleep. Seeing the film
18、 star, the fans _ with excitement. Asked why he was late, Alex _ that his car had broken down. Tip 2:“小”词汇增加表达效果declared roared murmured screamed explained 第17页/共28页 1. The girl forced a smile, saying “Thank you.” and turned towards the door. 2.Driven by a sense of sympathy, Pappy said to the girl l
19、oudly , “How much have you got to spend, Missy?”Lets have a try!murmuring called out 第18页/共28页 3. After thinking for a few seconds, Pappy said, “Today is Christmas Day and this is your lucky Day.” 4. “ No. My Momma says the present is for you.” said the child. 5. Tears filling her eyes, she said che
20、erfully, “Hello, Dad.”announcedexplainedcried out第19页/共28页What you are supposed to bear in mind: 只要是记叙文,难以逃脱的动作描写肯定有,动嘴,动手与动脚。除了熟知各种说的表达方式外,请记住各种看,和各种走 Eg: see, watch, observe, peep, look around, look back, stare at, glare at, glance at, catch sight of, lose sight of, etc Eg: walk, run, wander, dash
21、, stroll around, pace back and forth, step into, make ones way to, dance out, etc第20页/共28页 1. She forced a smile, murmuring “Thank you” and walked towards the door.2 The child went out with great joy, holding the special bell in her hand.3. Before Pappy had time to say another word, a young woman wa
22、lked in. Tip 2:“小”词汇增加表达效果make her way to danced out stepped in 第21页/共28页 With a giant tear in her eye, the little girl looked up at him. She forced a smile, murmuring “Thank you” and made her way to the door.Pappy thought of his daughter. Driven by a sense of sympathy, Pappy called out, “How much h
23、ave you got to spend?” Hearing this, the little girl counted money in her purse-two dollars. After thinking for a few seconds, Pappy announced, “Today is Christmas Day and this is your lucky day. The bell costs two dollars.” The child danced out with great joy, holding the special bell in her hand.第
24、22页/共28页 Later that evening when Pappy was closing up the shop, he heard a familiar ringing. He couldnt believe his ears. The girl stood in the doorway, ringing the bell happily. Feeling puzzled, Pappy got close to her and asked, “Have you changed your mind, Miss?” “ No. My Momma says the present is
25、 for you.” explained the child. Before Pappy had time to say another word, a young woman stepped in. Tears filling her eyes, she cried out cheerfully, “Hello, Dad.”第23页/共28页 Topic:a shocking knife attack From Book 5 Unit5First Aid Anne Slade, mother of three, had been stabbed _ with a knife. She was lying in her front garden bleeding very _. Her hands had _ been cut off.Tip 3:“小”细节丰富故事情节 repeatedly heavily almost 第24页/共28页 With a giant tear in her eye, the little girl looked up at him. She forced a smile, murmuring“Thank you” and made her way to the door. _, Pappy thought of hi
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