英语写作优化句子的常用方法2.ppt

A. The students Union of our school organized some activities during the 21st National Water Saving Week, and the theme of the activities is advocating low-carbon lifestyle and promoting water saving in campus.,B. In response to the 21st National Water Saving Week from May 13 to May 19, 2012, the Students Union of our school organized a series of activities with the theme of advocating low-carbon lifestyle and promoting water saving in campus.,A. Most students value it highly, believing that the dormitory is always full of noise, which affects their study and rest.,B. Most students agree with the idea because they think the dormitories are noisy, and that affects their study and rest.,基础写作训练,优化句子的常用方法,一、运用同位语,此方法多用于介绍人物、事物、产品、书名或地点等。 【例1】介绍事物： 射击最初只是生存工具，19世纪才发展成为一项体育运动。 Shooting, a means of survival originally, developed into a sport only in the late 19th century.,【例2】介绍人物： 上周我们就中小学生近视问题采访了眼科医生王教授。 Last week, we had an interview with Professor Wang, an eye-doctor, concerning the issue of short-sightedness of the school children in China.,一、运用同位语,【例3】介绍书名： 书名： Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother 作者： Amy Chua，美籍华人，耶鲁大学教授 中文版： 2011年初开始在中国销售 A book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, written by Amy Chua, an American-Chinese, has been sold in China since the beginning of 2011.,1. Guangzhou is the capital of Guangdong Province. It is located in the middle of Guangdong Province. It is the culture and economy center of Guangdong Province. Guangzhou, the capital and the culture and economy center of Guangdong Province, is located in the middle of Guangdong.,运用同位语合并句子,2. Zhang Hai is male. He is 23 years old. He graduated from Hunan Normal University last year. Zhang Hai, male, 23 years old, graduated from Hunan Normal University last year.,运用同位语合并句子,1. 去年，我被邀请参加一个为“待援助的孩子”（Tuesday Child）举办的一个狂欢节（carnival），“待援助的孩子”是一个帮助艾滋患儿的组织。 Last year, I was invited to participate in a carnival for Tuesday Child, _.,运用同位语完成句子,an organization that helps children with AIDS,2. 离2012年还有一个月时间，但孤星指南（the Lonely Planet）等不及宣布来年十大旅游城市排行榜，孤星指南是世界最畅销旅游指南杂志之一。 There is still more than one month to go before 2012. But the Lonely Planet, _ _ , cant wait to announce its top 10 cities to travel to in the coming year.,运用同位语完成句子,one of the worlds best-selling travel guides,1. 晓玲是个女孩子，今年18岁，她在育才中学学习，她是我的邻居也是我最好的朋友。 Xiaoling, a girl of 18, my neighbour and my best friend, is studying in Yucai Middle School.,运用同位语翻译合并句子,2. 姓名：Steve Jobs 别名：苹果教父（godfather） 出生地：美国加州三藩市 出生日期：1955年2月24日 逝世日期：2011年10月5日 Steve Jobs, the godfather of Apple, was born in San Francisco, California, the USA on February 24th, 1955 and passed away on October 5th, 2011.,运用同位语翻译合并句子,介词短语 非谓语动词短语：现在分词 过去分词 不定式短语,二、运用短语,介词短语常作状语。 【例4】我很惊讶，一切进展得那么顺利。 【一般】I was surprise. Everything went on very well. 【高级】To my surprise, everything went on well.,介词短语常作定语。 【例5】Waste water is making the river worse and worse. The waste water is from a factory. The factory lies on the river. 【高级】Waste water from the factory on the river is making the river worse and worse.,1. Xiaxi Town is not big but beautiful. It has an area of about 8 square kilometers. Xiaxi Town, with an area of about 8 square kilometers, is not big but beautiful. 2. There is an old tower. The tower lies in the east of the town. There is a river behind the tower. In the east of the town lies an old tower, behind which there is a river.,运用介词短语合并句子,3. We started early. We wanted to enjoy the sunrise on the top of the tower. We started early (in order/ so as/in an effort) to enjoy /with the purpose (goal) of enjoying the sunrise on the top of the tower. 4. As soon as we got there, we began to take photos. On arriving there, we began to take photos.,5. A professor gave us a talk this morning. He came from Beijing University. He talked about how to learn English well. A professor from Beijing University gave us a talk about/on how to learn English well this morning. 6. He told us of his own interesting experiences of learning English. We laughed a lot. On hearing his own interesting experiences of learning English, we laughed a lot.,7. His talk lasted an hour. He asked us some questions. During the one-hour talk, he asked us some questions.,使用时请注意以下几点： 不定式的动作发生在谓语动词之后； 现在分词表主动，该动作与谓语动词的动作同时发生或紧接着发生； 过去分词表被动，或表示该动词的动作在谓语动词动作之前发生，或者没有时间性； 现在分词的被动式表被动，与谓语动词的动作同时发生。,二、运用非谓语动词短语,【例6】故事是用简单的英语写的，很受英语初学者的欢迎。 【一般】The stories are written in simple English. They are popular with English beginners. 【高级】Written in simple English, the stories are popular with English beginners.,二、运用非谓语动词短语,1. He is ill. He didnt go to school. Being ill, he didnt go to school. 2. Im writing to invite you to be a judge at our English speech contest. It will be held on June 5. Im writing to invite you to be a judge at our English speech contest to be held on June 5.,运用非谓语动词短语合并句子,3. After she listened to me for a while, she gave me a big smile and said she liked my voice very much. After listening to me for a while, she gave me a big smile and said she liked my voice very much. 4. I dont know his name. I call him Good Man. Not knowing his name, I call him Good Man.,5. The man is singing a song. He is my brother. The man singing a song is my brother. 6. Suddenly I saw an ant. She was trying hard to move another ant who was dead. Suddenly I saw an ant trying hard to move another ant who was dead.,常用的并列连词有and, but, or, otherwise, nor, so, yet, however, for, as well as, both and, not only but also, either or, neither nor, and then, since 等。,三、运用并列句,【例7】他不喜欢音乐，也不喜欢运动。 【一般】He doesnt like music. He doesnt like sports, either. 【高级】He likes neither music nor sports.,三、运用并列句,【例8】我不喜欢他，他很自私。 【一般】I dont like him. He is selfish. 【高级】 I dont like him, for he is selfish.,三、运用并列句,1. He works hard himself. He encourages us to work hard, too. He not only works hard himself, but also encourages us to work hard. 2. These glasses are very expensive. Please be careful with them. Please be careful with these glasses, for they are very expensive.,运用并列连词合并句子,3. Half of the girls choose film and TV stars as their idols. 48% of the boys favour sports stars. Half of the girls choose film and TV stars as their idols while 48% of the boys favour sports stars. 4. I am good at expressing myself. I have the language advantage over others. Not only am I good at expressing myself, but I also have the language advantage over others.,5. According to the professor, the cause of short-sightedness is very complicated. No medicine can cure it. According to the professor, the cause of short-sightedness is very complicated so no medicine can cure it.,6. The government should be aware of the importance of providing education for all the children. The average people should be aware of the importance, too. The government, as well as the average people/Both the government and the average people should be aware of the importance of providing education for all the children.,最常用的是状语从句、主语从句、宾语从句、表语从句和定语从句。 【例9】废水被直接排放到河里，河水被严重污染。 【一般】Waste water is directly let into the river. The river is seriously polluted. 【高级】The river is seriously polluted because waste water is directly let into it.,四、运用复合句,【例10】他病得很重，这让我着急。 【一般】He was seriously ill. It made me worried. 【高级】He was seriously ill, which made me worried.,四、运用复合句,1. He never lost a game. I was really astonished. I was really astonished that he never lost a game. 2. Li Hua is my classmate. His English is very good. Li Hua is my classmate, whose English is very good.,运用复合句合并句子,3. As for myself, Thomas Edison is my idol. His inventions have greatly changed our life. As for myself, Thomas Edison is my idol because his inventions have greatly changed our life. As for myself, Thomas Edison, whose inventions have greatly changed our life, is my idol.,4. Currently China has about 350 million smokers. Among these smokers 75% are men and 25% are women. Currently China has about 350 million smokers, among whom 75% are men and 25% are women.,5. We are now living in an information age. TV, cells and the Web are widely used in this age. We are now living in an information age, in which TV, cells and the Web are widely used.,6. The government would organize more than 1, 100 engineers and workers from across the country to dig wells in the countrys southwest. It is reported. It is reported that the government would organize more than 1, 100 engineers and workers from across the country to dig wells in the countrys southwest. As is reported, the government would organize more than 1, 100 engineers and workers from across the country to dig wells in the countrys southwest.,需要注意的是，我们在写作时，要注意不要一味地追求复杂的句型，能简则简，能用短语，就不要用从句。在句式多样的前提下，尽量做到精炼。 【例11】我正在餐桌旁吃饭，一个人朝我走了过来，那个人戴着一顶黑帽子。 【复杂】I was at table when a man who was wearing a black hat came up to me. 【简明】When I was at table, a man wearing a black hat came up to me.,写作中复合句常见的错误,1.只有从句，没有主句,The keeper who had lived in the light tower for a long time, so he could keep calm in the storm.,2.以逗号代替句号,把两个简单句当成一个句子, The old man thought of his son, tears came down from his face., The hall is different from all other buildings, it is made of glass.,3.刻意使用从句，表达不自然,There are over fifty students in this school who are going to take part in the sports meet next Sunday.,Over fifty students in this school are going to take part in the sports meet next Sunday.,4.过多地使用并列句组合信息, We were driving out into the country, and we saw our English teacher riding in a bus, and the bus was crowded., It is a beautiful day, and the sun is shining and a breeze is blowing., It is a beautiful day with the sun shining and a breeze blowing., As we were driving out into the country, we saw our English teacher riding in a crowded bus.,你来试试,参考词汇： 错别字: wrongly-written characters 网络语言：web language,要求：1. 用两句话表达表格内容 2. 两句话要有连贯性,第一句（两个信息点）： 1. 学生作文中出现很多错别字 2.（他们）上网聊天时经常使用网络语言。, There are many wrongly-written characters in students compositions.,The reason why there are many wrongly-written characters in students compositions is that they often use web languages when chatting on line.,合并句子：, They often use web languages when chatting on line.,1. They have so much homework to do every day that they fail to memorize the new characters.,第二句: 1. 每天有很多作业做 2. 没有记住生字。, They have much homework to do every day.,2. With so much homework to do every day, they fail to memorize the new characters.,3. Because they have so much homework to do, they fail to memorize the new characters.,合并句子：, They fail to memorize the new characters.,连接两句话： The reason why there are many wro